The 24 Greatest, Nerdiest Jokes Ever Told

Supercollider? I hardly even know her!

2. What do a neutrino and I have in common?

3. There are two types of people in the world…

4. Actually, there are 10 kinds of people in the world.

5. A superconductor walks into a bar and orders a beer.

6. What is the volume of an object with depth a and radius z?

7. Some helium floats into a bar. The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.”

8. Knock knock. Who’s there? To. To who?

9. The bartender says, “We don’t serve tachyons in here.”

10. A logician comes out of the hospital where his wife has just given birth. A friend comes up to him and excitedly asks: “Is it a girl or a boy?”

11. A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers…

12. Later, that same Roman goes to the bar and orders a Martinus.

13. A man once thought he’d discovered a new primary color.

14. Why couldn’t Karl Marx stand Earl Grey tea?

15. A Buddhist monk walks up to a hotdog stand…

16. Did you hear about that man who was cooled to absolute zero?

17. A programmer’s wife tells him to go to the store. She says, “Pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”

19. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

20. A chemist asked his associate why he had added “Ah!” to their periodic table of elements…

21. I like my pasta like my medieval Italian literature…

22. Why couldn’t the drunk drink his root beer out of a square cup?

24. How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a lightbulb?


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