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    Sep 28, 2015

    42 Things All People With A Scottish Mum Heard Growing Up

    "Your jaiket's on a shoogly peg!"

    Flickr: garymrogers / Creative Commons / BuzzFeed

    1. "Whit's fir ye'll no go by ye." – When you thought you'd missed your chance.

    2. "Keep the heid!" – When you were going radge.
    3. "Gonnae no dae that!" – When you were being annoying.

    4. "You're no the full shillin'.'" – When you were being weird.
    5. "What did yer last slave die of?" – If you asked her for a favour.

    6. "Yer bum's out the windae." – When you were talking nonsense.

    7. "Yer talkin' mince." – When your chat got particularly silly.

    8. "Get it doon ye!" – When you wouldn't take your medicine.
    9. "Get to bed or Wee Willy Winkie will get ye!" – When you wouldn't go to sleep.

    10. "Mony a mickle macks a muckle." – When you needed to save money.
    11. "If ye dinnae stop yer greetin' I'll gie ye something to greet fir!" – When you wouldn't stop crying (although this threat usually made you cry more).

    12. "Yer a wee chancer!" – When you were being a cheeky bugger.
    13. "Skinny malinky long legs." – When you started to grow out of your clothes.

    14. "Speak o' the devil." – When you came in as she was talking about you.

    15. "Haud your wheesht!" – When you wouldn't stop talking.

    16. "Och, ah dinnae ken." – When she was bored of your questions.
    17. "Away an gie's peace." – And when she needed a bit of a break.

    18. "You're such a slitter!" – When you spilled your dinner on yourself.
    19. "Did ye aye?" – When you told a tall tale.

    20. "A wee birdie told me…" – (Usually) when someone had ratted you out.

    21. "Beggars cannae be choosers." – When she bought food you didn't like.

    22. "You're lookin' awfy peely wally." – When you tried a lighter shade of foundation.
    23. "Do you think I'm daft?" – When you were trying to get away with murder.

    24. "Ah've got eyes in the back o' ma heid!" – When she caught you doing something sneaky.
    25. "If the wind changes yer face'll stay like that!" – Whenever you frowned.

    26. "Do you think ah button up the back?" – When she knew you were telling a fib.
    27. "Who's she? The cat's mother?" – Whenever you referred to her as "she".

    28. "Burny burny." – When you reached for the pot of boiling water

    29. "Don't be a wee clipe!" – Whenever you were being a telltale.

    30. "If you eat yer crusts yer hair'll go curly!" – When you ate every part of a sandwich other than the edges.
    31. "I'll pick you up at the back of three." – When she wasn't sure when she'd arrive (and it usually meant you'd be waiting for ages).

    32. "Be careful what you wish for." – When you were coming out with daft ideas.
    33. "Yer a wee scunner so ye are!" – When you were doing something you knew you shouldn't.

    34. "Would ye mind lettin' yer face know?" – When you were suffering from a case of resting grump face. (Usually preceded by "Are ye having a guid time?")
    35. "Don't you dare go down that street; the bogeyman lives there." – When you had a habit of wandering off.

    Flickr: surtr / Creative Commons / BuzzFeed

    36. "Santa's watchin!" – When you were misbehaving.
    37. "Are your lugs painted on?!" – When you asked her to repeat a question.

    38. "You're such a blether." – When you wouldn't stop talking.
    39. "Yer aff yer heid." – When you were being a daftie.

    40. "You've got a face only a mither could love!" – When she wanted to tease you.
    41. "Your jaiket's on a shoogly peg." – When you were on your final warning.

    42. "You'd get a piece at anybody's door." – When you turned on the charm.

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