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19 Lies All Scottish Parents Tell Their Kids

Turns out Irn-Bru doesn't actually turn you ginger.

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1. If you drank too much Irn-Bru you'd turn orange.

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It turns out it's not a cheaper alternative to fake tan.

2. Or even scarier, that it would turn you ginger.

Giphy / 20th Century Fox

That one definitely put you off, at least for a while.

3. That a haggis was a wee animal with different sized-legs so it could run around the hills.

This was a much nicer story than the truth.
Aime Hunter

This was a much nicer story than the truth.

4. Your dad was always "away seeing a man about a dug".

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And yet never returned home with said dog.

5. If you wore a Celtic or Rangers top in Glasgow you would immediately be killed.

Which is why they were reserved for indoors and holidays only.

6. That "Nessie is real, she must just be sleeping."

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Whenever you drove past Loch Ness and the monster failed to put in an appearance. She's like a watery Santa Claus.

7. If you left the house without a jacket you would get the flu, freeze to death, or drop dead.

Giphy / Nickelodeon

You were doubtful, but you took one just in case.

8. If an ice cream van played music, it meant it was out of ice cream.

This was particularly mean, although we all caught on eventually.

9. Every street you weren't allowed to go down had the bogeyman living on it.

Probably just used as a replacement for the word "junkie", come to think of it.

10. And you didn't leave the playground in time, "the man" would come for you.

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The words still fill you with fear.

11. Or alternatively, that "the man" would come and lock you in.

Giphy / Warner Bros

Who was this man?! Was he the same person your dad kept seeing about a dog?

12. When you were pulling faces, you'd be told: "If the wind changes yer face'll stay like that!"

Which usually made you turn that frown upside down.
BBC

Which usually made you turn that frown upside down.

13. That hot Ribena cures any illness.

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It was forced down your throat whenever you tried to skive school or ceilidh practice.

14. "Wee Willie Winkie will get you if you don't go to bed right this minute."

In hindsight, it isn't clear why a small boy in a nightgown was so terrifying.
Flickr: 23097960@N04 / Creative Commons

In hindsight, it isn't clear why a small boy in a nightgown was so terrifying.

15. If you touched these you would pee the bed.

Which meant you freaked your shit if you accidentally brushed against one.
Flickr: msvg / Creative Scotland

Which meant you freaked your shit if you accidentally brushed against one.

16. If you crossed a bridge late at night, the witch from "Tam O' Shanter" would get you.

And everyone had that one friend who claimed they'd done it as a dare. Aye right.
Flickr: pellethepoet / Creative Commons

And everyone had that one friend who claimed they'd done it as a dare. Aye right.

17. If you ate your crusts you'd get curly hair.

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But then again, the crusts on this were pretty delicious anyway.

18. "If you don't wash behind your ears, tatties will grow there."

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Which made you less likely to wash them as you wanted to find out if this was true.

19. And, worst of all, if you misbehaved your parents would cancel Christmas.

Giphy / New Line Cinema

This was by far the most terrifying lie, and one that you will totally use on your kids.