14 Signs Your Dog Envy Has Gotten Out Of Control

Dog envy (n): when you’re overwhelmed by a desire to own a dog, but are unable to do so. So you spend too much time thinking about your future dog.

1. You greet your neighbor’s dog before acknowledging the owner.

“Herrooo my fwiend — oh, hi, Dave. How’s your week going?”

2. You follow more dogs than people on Instagram.

You know all the celebs: Boo, Toast, etc.

3. You stare at dogs as they walk past you down the street.

And your heart flutters if you make eye contact.

4. You refer to every dog you see as a “puppy.”

Because, obviously, you point out every dog you see. And they’re all puppies to you.

5. Your friends always share dog-related Youtube videos and BuzzFeed listicles with you.

“Have you seen this?!” Yes, of course. Do you think I’m a poser?

6. You have a list of possible names for your future pet.

Extra points if 70-90% of them are food-related.

7. You already know what your dog is going to dress up as for Halloween.

You might even be planning matching costumes.

8. You spend all of your free time on Pet Finder.

Time flies when you’re having — oh, crap, when did I get to page 75?

9. You jump on any opportunity to dog-sit your friends’ pets.

Seriously, it’s no trouble at all. Just give me your dog.

10. You’re filled with unspeakable joy when a stranger lets you pet their dog.

Sometimes, you’re literally rendered speechless. And it makes the owner feel uncomfortable.

11. You love seeing dogs meet on the street and become instant friends.

A more pure and beautiful friendship than any of us will ever have.

12. You’ve research different breeds and know exactly how much money you need to save for your dream dog.

French bulldogs: so expensive, but OH SO CUTE.

13. You talk about your dog plans with your also envy-suffering friends.

And you start planning all the puppy play dates that’ll inevitably happen in the future.

14. You can’t wait till the day you’ll meet your furry best friend!

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