Nope, you’re not being subtle.
WHERE DID YOU GO?
Don’t worry dude, you won’t melt/catch cooties/get a boner from touching that woman’s shoulder.
They’ll oil it, nurture it, and sing songs to it at night, but at the end of the day it’s still pubes on a chin.
“Oooh, look how many flowers/matchsticks/cocktail umbrellas I can fit in my moustache!”
If a girl pulled her friend’s skirt down while she was talking to a cute guy, they would never be friends again. Ever.
You’re not opening any doors if you carry on like that.
Or they bunch their junk together, put on a silly voice and say, “Look, it’s Nelly the elephant!”
“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M GOING THROUGH!”