10 Videos Of Animals Farting, Because Fuck It, Why The Heck Not

These videos are a work of fart.

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There are two certainties in life: you will lie about not seeing someone's text, and you will fart. All living things toot/break wind/pass gas/fart/ass-sneeze on the reg. The person next to you right now? Tootin'. Your parents? Tootin'. Your dentist with bad breath? Tootin' up a storm.

But even better than human farts are animal farts. Animals are unashamed, unafraid, and unapologetic in their flatulence. They don't care where they are, they just let it rip. In the jungle, at the park in front of children playing on the swings, IN FRONT OF THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS!?

1. MAJESTIC LEMUR MONKEY FART:

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This lemur monkey moves like a gazelle and farts like a father of three. I like how the monkey gallops away from the area to avoid being blamed, which is a tactic all of us can relate to.

OFFICIAL FART RATING: 8/10.

2. LACKLUSTER BABY TURTLE BUBBLE BATH FART:

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I know it's a tiny turtle, but this fart was unimpressive and humdrum, even by tiny turtle standards. I was expecting more of a theatrical bubble display, too.

OFFICIAL FART RATING: 5/10.

3. HIPPO FART/SHART SWIRL:

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I'm going to go ahead and say this attention seeking hippo knew that this mess would occur, but they did it anyway to put on a show for the cameras. A hippo that poops all over the place in a spiral motion to make people laugh? I'm in love.

OFFICIAL FART/SHART RATING: 12/10.

4. SCARY HORSE FART:

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This is the quintessential animal fart video. The horse's aggressive fart startled not only the little girl trailing nearby, BUT THE HORSE ITSELF! I mean, that's when you know you're powerful: when your own fart literally blows you away.

OFFICIAL FART RATING: 11/10.

5. UNIMPRESSIVE GORILLA FART:

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Not going to lie, I expected much more from such a husky, barbaric animal. Disappointing and sad, tbh.

OFFICIAL FART RATING: 4/10.

6. CUTE KOALA FART:

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What I like about this fart is that it's coming out of the cutest animal on earth, a koala. Just goes to show that even the prettiest people are fucking disgusting, too.

OFFICIAL FART RATING: 8.5/10.

7. TIRED LION FART:

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The lion appears to plop down in the grass after a long, tiring day of devouring zebras and antelopes in the hot field. The lion earned that fart, but it still could've packed more of a punch.

OFFICIAL FART RATING: 7.5/10.

8. A VERY ELEPHANT-ISH ELEPHANT FART:

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Exactly what you'd expect an elephant's fart to be: loud and gross.

OFFICIAL FART RATING: 8/10.

9. A LOVELY DOG FART:

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Although I can't smell it, I can guarantee that this dog's fart is silent but deadly. Notice how they smell it after? That dog is a masochistic monster.

OFFICIAL FART RATING: 6.5/10.

10. A "COCKATOOT," AKA A COCKATOO FART

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I. AM. SHOCKED. Who knew a cockatoo's fart would be so boisterous and robust? I'm impressed and fascinated, and I plan on viewing more cockatoo farting videos in the near future.

OFFICIAL FART RATING: 17/10.

Congratulations. You just watched ten different videos of animals farting. I hope you have a wonderful day.