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Put A Passover Plate Together And We'll Tell You Where You'll Retire

L'Chaim, babes!

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  1. Pro tip: Holding a drink gives you something to do with one of your awkward arms while you wander around your family gathering, narrowly avoiding questions like "So, what is it that you do?"

    Pro tip: Holding a drink gives you something to do with one of your awkward arms while you wander around your family gathering, narrowly avoiding questions like "So, what is it that you do?"

    Manischewitz.
    Via Drizly
    Manischewitz.
    Via Drizly
    More Manischewitz.
    Via FabuKnits
    More Manischewitz.
    Via FabuKnits
    Even more Manischewitz, since you're supposed to have four glasses.
    Via Tablet Magazine
    Even more Manischewitz, since you're supposed to have four glasses.
    Via Tablet Magazine
    Water (for after the four glasses of Manischewitz).
    Via The Wonderful Company
    Water (for after the four glasses of Manischewitz).
    Via The Wonderful Company
  2. A paper plate is fine. I'm easygoing, chill as heck, and don't care — AS LONG AS I HAVE FOOD IN MY MOUTH!
    Via Paper Plate Manufacturers
    A paper plate is fine. I'm easygoing, chill as heck, and don't care — AS LONG AS I HAVE FOOD IN MY MOUTH!
    Via Paper Plate Manufacturers
    Exquisite china. I like luxury and sparkling water and won't settle for less than the best, especially on the High Holy Days.
    Via Handmade By Me
    Exquisite china. I like luxury and sparkling water and won't settle for less than the best, especially on the High Holy Days.
    Via Handmade By Me
    A seder plate. I'm a good Jew who wants to be gracefully let in to heaven when the time comes.
    Via history.com
    A seder plate. I'm a good Jew who wants to be gracefully let in to heaven when the time comes.
    Because I am the worst, I refuse to use a plate and I pick at everything with my fingers.
    Via ScareFX
    Because I am the worst, I refuse to use a plate and I pick at everything with my fingers.
    Via ScareFX
  3. Warm, salty, classic matzoh ball soup, preferably made by grandma.
    Via Budget Bytes
    Warm, salty, classic matzoh ball soup, preferably made by grandma.
    Via Budget Bytes
    Chopped liver (WHAT AM I?!?!?)
    Via Food Network
    Chopped liver (WHAT AM I?!?!?)
    Via Food Network
    A hearty, robust lamb shank.
    Via The New York Times
    A hearty, robust lamb shank.
    Via The New York Times
    A spoonful of spicy horseradish and nothing else.
    Via Healthy Living Benefits
    A spoonful of spicy horseradish and nothing else.
    Via Healthy Living Benefits
  4. A hard-boiled egg.
    Via Cooking Light
    A hard-boiled egg.
    Via Cooking Light
    Crispy brisket.
    Via Slaughterhouse Kitchen
    Crispy brisket.
    Via Slaughterhouse Kitchen
    Some dry matzoh.
    Via Blisstree
    Some dry matzoh.
    Via Blisstree
    Cooked turkey.
    Via Griller's Pride
    Cooked turkey.
    Via Griller's Pride
  5. Gefilte fish (Snapchat should do a Gefilter fish, LOL kill me).
    Via Epicurious
    Gefilte fish (Snapchat should do a Gefilter fish, LOL kill me).
    Via Epicurious
    Charoset.
    Via Real Simple
    Charoset.
    Via Real Simple
    A lotta latkes.
    Via Tori Avery
    A lotta latkes.
    Via Tori Avery
    Tuna fish.
    Via NBC Los Angeles
    Tuna fish.
    Via NBC Los Angeles
  6. Flourless chocolate cake.
    Via The Kosher Channel
    Flourless chocolate cake.
    Via The Kosher Channel
    Mandel bread.
    Via Once Upon A Chef
    Mandel bread.
    Via Once Upon A Chef
    Chocolate covered matzoh.
    Via Kosher Kingdom
    Chocolate covered matzoh.
    Via Kosher Kingdom
    Sponge cake with some random assorted berries.
    Via Joy Of Baking
    Sponge cake with some random assorted berries.
    Via Joy Of Baking

Put A Passover Plate Together And We'll Tell You Where You'll Retire

You got: Boca Raton, Florida

The Boca Raton Beach Club is calling your name. It is there, underneath Florida's scorching hot sun, where you will burn to a crisp, wither away, and forget your own name.

Boca Raton, Florida
bocaresort.com
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You got: Los Angeles

When the time to retire sneaks up on ya like a thief in the night, you'll pack your bags to head toward the West Coast (unless you're already there!). California will bring you blissful weather, the most beautiful people, and an abundance of standstill traffic that never, ever moves. But enjoy the weather!

Los Angeles
Above The Law
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You got: Cheyenne, Wyoming

Your later years will be spent scaling the mountains of Wyoming, dipping your tired, overworked toes in the crisp, blue lakes and pacing back and forth in Yellowstone National Park. So tranquil.

Cheyenne, Wyoming
wyomingdra.com
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You got: Grand Forks, North Dakota

I'm not going to sugarcoat this: That really sucks!!! But your retirement will be quite relaxing, since there is quite literally nothing to do in North Dakota except befriend a group of buffalos and lose your mind...which kind of sounds like retirement goals.

Grand Forks, North Dakota
history.com
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You got: Bangor, Maine

Lobster. Boats. Lobster. Boats. Lobster. Boats. Lobster. Boats. Lobster. Boats. Lobster. Boats. Lobster. Boats. Lobster. Boats. Lobster. Boats. Lobster. Boats. Repeat for eternity.

Bangor, Maine
Lobster Everywhere
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Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

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