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15 Things That Will Make You Laugh, Then Say, "Oh Shit, I Need To Cancel Tonight's Plans"

"When are you coming?" ... "I'm not."

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Hey girls and boys, IT'S FRIDAY!

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You know what that means?

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Some bad news: It's time to cancel the plans you made while some extra serotonin was pumping through your brain on Tuesday night.

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Yup, I'm sorry—just do what you always do: Make up an excuse, turn your phone off, and pretend that nothing ever happened!

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To cope with the self-loathing that is to come, please enjoy fifteen incredibly relatable things that will remind you to, yes, cancel tonight's plans immediately.

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1. The irony: you'd have to commit a crime and you can't even commit to dinner plans.

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2. What I look like every Friday while everyone else is "getting ready."

3. Ballsy to cancel plans on a fiery guy who holds a pitchfork, but fuck it, I'd do it.

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4. I'll even go as far as sending a follow-up thank you note.

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5. Drug of choice: sending "I can't come" texts.

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6. There is no feeling—NONE—more powerful.

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7. Pretty much.

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8. Feigning enthusiasm is a skill that only those who regularly pull out of plans have mastered.

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9. Medical emergency? CAN'T COME, BYE!

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10. That's a nice way to put it.

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11. Dog died, grandpa fell down the steps, my mom got in a boating accident, my friend has a rash and needs me to rub ointment on it, etc.

12. REAL. THIS IS TOO REAL.

13. The group chat perpetually looks like this.

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14. I miss the old Kanye, the cancel plans Kanye.

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15. And finally, the text exchange that sums up my existence:

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