15 Things That Will Make You Laugh, Then Say, "Oh Shit, I Need To Cancel Tonight's Plans"
"When are you coming?" ... "I'm not."
Hey girls and boys, IT'S FRIDAY!
You know what that means?
Some bad news: It's time to cancel the plans you made while some extra serotonin was pumping through your brain on Tuesday night.
Yup, I'm sorry—just do what you always do: Make up an excuse, turn your phone off, and pretend that nothing ever happened!
To cope with the self-loathing that is to come, please enjoy fifteen incredibly relatable things that will remind you to, yes, cancel tonight's plans immediately.
The irony: you'd have to commit a crime and you can't even commit to dinner plans.
What I look like every Friday while everyone else is "getting ready."
Ballsy to cancel plans on a fiery guy who holds a pitchfork, but fuck it, I'd do it.
I'll even go as far as sending a follow-up thank you note.
Drug of choice: sending "I can't come" texts.
There is no feeling—NONE—more powerful.
Feigning enthusiasm is a skill that only those who regularly pull out of plans have mastered.
Medical emergency? CAN'T COME, BYE!
That's a nice way to put it.
Dog died, grandpa fell down the steps, my mom got in a boating accident, my friend has a rash and needs me to rub ointment on it, etc.
REAL. THIS IS TOO REAL.
The group chat perpetually looks like this.
I miss the old Kanye, the cancel plans Kanye.
And finally, the text exchange that sums up my existence:
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