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    14 Fucking Terrible Things You'll Relate To If You Use Public Transport Regularly

    Just fucking kill me.

    1. Dodging foreign puddles of liquid on the ground.

    2. Choosing between falling over and keeping your hands clean or holding on and possibly getting a deathly illness.

    3. Always, always, always smelling fermented urine.

    Being the only one awake on the subway is very much like a childhood slumber party: It smells like pee and then it smells like pee again.

    4. Being hit in the face with a person's bag right as you're dozing off.

    5. Talking yourself down from a panic attack after somebody sneezes on your shoulder.

    6. Listening to a person sing into a broken microphone when all you want is PEACE AND FUCKING QUIET.

    7. Delays...


    8. Stepping into a bus or a train with no air in the middle of a heat wave.

    9. Sighing. A lot of sighing.

    10. Feeling an itch on your foot and panicking over the fact that a baby rat could be in your shoe.

    Hey subway rat! Didn't you learn from my posters with Gentry? You shouldn't smoke!

    11. People breathing down your back.

    12. Wishing you were pregnant so you always had an excuse to sit.

    13. Making awkward eye contact with other people.

    14. And just generally wanting to fall off the earth.