I Went To The IRL Derek Zoolander Center And It Was Ridiculously Cool
It's for people who want to learn how to do stuff good.
If you're a millennial with a pulse, you remember this v. famous scene from Zoolander.
So in honor of Zoolander 2 gracing us with its presence this weekend...
A real Derek Zoolander Center was erected in New York City (!!!). Here I am about to go inside, so excited I probz should've been wearing an adult diaper.
Right when you walk in, you see a message from the Father of Blue Steel Himself.
You're greeted by these beefcake male models who literally have glitter all over their skin.
They're really nailing the "Derek in the Mines" look.
Then I really started to break out in nervous hives because these beautiful dudes — MEN WHO ARE SO HOT THAT SOMEHOW THEY'RE WEARING BAGGY HAZMAT SUITS AND MY OVARIES STILL HURT???? — start pampering you with lotion and stuff.
Here I am having my hands caressed and my face sprayed, all in the name of Zoolander ~youth-ificiation.~
This is my best Hello-I-am-trying-to-flirt-with-you-but-you're-spraying-my-face-with-mist-and-it's-impossible-to-look-cute face.