16 Parents Who Totally Lucked Out When It Came To Their Kids' Christmas Wishes

    I wish the kids in my family were as easy to shop for.

    The air has a crispness to it, and my Target's holiday section is glowing, which means it's officially Christmastime.

    So while looking at funny holiday fails on the internet to get in the mood for the season, I came across this Reddit thread from u/DoubleRemand asking, "Mall Santas of Reddit, what is the weirdest thing a kid asked for for Christmas?" Some of the answers were shockingly...practical?

    1. "My uncle was a Santa, and he told me that one year, a kid asked for a coffee-maker because he wanted to start his own Starbucks coffee stand instead of a lemonade stand."

    "Apparently, business was not very good as a lemonade stand, but he noticed that a lot of adults drink coffee, so he'd make coffee. That kid is probably a millionaire now."


    2. "When I was 5 years old, I asked a Santa in JCPenney at the time for a real lawn mower, the kind my dad uses."

    "They had me hold a microphone up to my mouth. My answer (along with every other kid's, I presume) was broadcast throughout the whole store. I can still hear the laughter from the adults."


    3. "This 5-year-old girl told me she wanted 'one of those loud horns.'"

    "She made a gesture like she was using those canned air horns, and she made a little horn sound. She said she wants to use it to wake up her baby brother when he naps in the daytime so he 'knows what it's like.'"


    An airhorn being blown

    4. "After waiting two hours in line, my daughter asked Santa for a hot dog."


    5. "At my daughter's preschool, there was a Santa. Kids were asking for the usual things, like toys and unicorns. One little girl went up. You could tell she was thinking really hard. She asked for two rolls of tape."


    6. "I once asked for bread with no crust."

    "Come Christmas Day, I actually got an entire loaf of bread with no crust."


    Healthy Homemade Crustless Peanut Butter Jelly Sandwich in a Circle

    7. "My 9-year-old kid asked for light bulbs. I am sure Santa wasn’t expecting that."


    8. "When I was a little kid, about 3 or 4 years old, I told a mall Santa that I wanted blue juice for Christmas."

    "The Santa looked at my mom like, 'WTF does he mean by this?' My mom was just as clueless as he was. My mom, being awesome, went out and got Hugs juice and only gave me the blue ones on Christmas. To this day, I have no clue why I wanted the blue juice. I just knew I wanted it, so that's what I told Santa. You bet your ass that I drank every last one of those things."


    The plastic Little Hug Fruit Barrels filled with different-colored juices

    9. "My neighbor was a Santa for a community brunch years ago, and a little girl asked for a cheeseburger."

    "Not that odd on its own, I suppose, but an odd request for the holiday, and to ask of such an important and magical being."


    10. "Apparently, I asked for a rolling pin — not a pony, not a Barbie DreamHouse...a rolling pin. And I still didn't get it."

    "When I called my mother and asked if she remembered why I wanted a rolling pin, she told me I wanted to hide it under my pillow and thought that it would be a nice weapon to fight an intruder with. Since moving out and getting a rolling pin, I’ve found a better use for it than the one I had originally thought of."


    11. "I remember hearing the girl in front of me in line when I was at the mall as a kid say she wanted potatoes. I hated potatoes at the time, so I was repulsed."


    12. "A kid asked for 5 gallons of maple syrup. When the Santa asked him why, his response was that he liked to bathe in it and his bathtub could hold 5 gallons of water."


    13. "One year my brother asked for a dustpan."

    "This was well in advance of Christmas, and everyone assumed he would just forget it and move on, but as a joke, one of his presents was, in fact, a shiny new dustpan, complete with the little mini broom. Of course there were also the typical toys you'd expect a 4- or 5-year-old to enjoy, but he wasn't particularly interested in those. Instead, he spent most of the next week or so sweeping things into his dustpan. ​Best present ever; it only cost two bucks, and the house was swept several times a day. So was the porch, and the yard, and the cat."


    14. "A shredder. This boy wanted a paper shredder."

    "No idea why. But after the holidays, he was telling me all about the different settings on the shredder that Santa had brought him."


    15. "A toilet brush."

    "My parents still laugh at me for it, and I'm old enough to have been with my wife for 15 years. For curious minds, I have no idea why I thought it would be so awesome to have my very own toilet brush, but I do remember the buildup to it. Yes, Santa did leave a brand-new toilet brush under the tree for me."


    16. Finally, this one: "When my daughter was 2, she asked for a red balloon."

    "When Santa asked her what else, she responded that she just wanted the balloon. When he asked what she’d do if it popped, she responded, 'That’s fine. That will just make it easier to put in a jar.'

    "Fast-forward about two years, and we start the same nighttime ritual for my 6-month-old son that we had with my daughter...listening to the unabridged Winnie the Pooh read by Stephen Fry. A month or so in, it hits me. All my daughter wanted for Christmas two years prior was a red balloon because that’s what Eeyore got for his birthday. She’d been listening to Winnie the Pooh to go to sleep each night and loved how excited Eeyore was with his popped balloon. I may have shed a tear or two."


    Pooh gifting Eeyore with a useful pot to put his balloon into for his birthday

    Do you remember a silly Christmas request you had as a kid? Tell us about it in the comments below!