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11 Dr. Seuss Characters We Still Can't Trust

What's in those green eggs, Sam-I-Am?

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1. The Onceler (The Lorax)

Sure, we could see his face in the movie, but in the book, he was just some eyeballs in an old window. And I mean, you have to give him a little credit because he feels guilty he ruined and ENTIRE ECOSYSTEM. But if we brought back truffula trees, who's to say he won't do it again?

2. The Things (The Cat in the Hat)

Sure, they have great hair. I know we all automatically trust things with great hair. BUT DON'T BE FOOLED. These little guys cause chaos. Looking at them stresses me out because I only imagine them running around my house and throwing everything on the ground. They want to have fun, and it's too much. Also, their go to outfit is a long-sleeved onesie. We can't trust them.

3. Yertle the Turtle (Yertle the Turtle)

Yertle was propelled by greed and an "I am better than everyone else" attitude. Poor choice, Yertle. Did he learn his lesson in the end? Sure, I get that. However, look at how grumpy his face is. Permanent scowl. Would you trust anyone with such a grumpy face? I didn't think so. Yertle the Turtle could've easily found a solution to his problem without inconveniencing everyone else, like a ladder or a lifeguard stand.

4. Wasket(There's A Wocket in My Pocket)

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Waskets have never done anything to me, but I think about them every time I throw away my trash. How terrifying would it be if you went to throw something away and there you saw a creature just standing in your wastebasket staring blankly at you. Do they go through our garbage? What do they know about us? What's running through their little pom-pom head? I have questions and I need answers.

5. Gerald McGrew (If I Ran The Zoo)

He's an enterprising young lad, but Gerald McGrew could turn into a Yertle if he had enough power. He always talks about taking creatures and putting them in his zoo, and they seem pretty rare because I sure as hell have never heard of them. A Nerkle? I don't know but it sounds exotic. Remember what happened with the Onceler when he saw something exotic? Yeah, I know you do. Stay in school, Gerald.

6. Mr. Gump (One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish)

There's a few reasons we can't trust Mr. Gump. Number 1, He's letting these children (AND INFANTS) ride his Wump with no saddles, harnesses, or seatbelts. They're standing and flopping all over this Wump and he's completely oblivious. Aside from being a bad babysitter, Mr. Gump has a seven-humped Wump and they're usually only one-humped. There's only one explanation: he's hiding something.

7. Norval the Clinic Fish (You're Only Old Once)

Quick question: How do you get through medical school without arms or legs or opposable thumbs? I'd like to see his degree because I've never seen a doctor that lived in a fish tank. This man is taking medical advice from him, and it isn't a good idea.

8. Star-Bellied Sneetches (The Sneetches)

Dr. Seuss

Look at him. Just look at him. Star-bellied sneetches are so mean that I want to hug all the other sneetches in the book. They're rude, and all they have is a star sticker on their tummy. It looks like it would get itchy, and I hope they don't have hydrocortizone. I don't trust them.

9. Sam-I-Am (Green Eggs and Ham)

I just want to know his motive. Does he get commission based on how many people he gets to try Green Eggs and Ham? Is there something in those eggs? Why are they green? How do you have so many modes of transportation?

10. The Wickersham Brothers (Horton Hears a Who)

These guys have so much eyeliner on, no wonder they can't see Whoville. They probably can't see anything. Their tails make me uncomfortable and they look like they would be the kids at recess that would steal my poptart. I don't trust anything that looks like they'd steal my poptart and you shouldn't either.

11. Mrs. McCave (The Sneetches and Other Stories)

There are so many baby names books, Mrs. McCave. Even still, you need determination to name ALL 23 SONS Dave. Geez, Mrs. McCave! Also, IF you're going to have 23 boys AND you're going to give them all the same name, AT LEAST give them all different outfits. How are you going to tell them all apart. There's something going on here that we don't know about.

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