1. This kid, who used a straw to "lock" the snack cabinet to keep their mom from indulging:

2. This kid, who pulled an evil, evil prank on their mom:

3. This kid, who feels some type of way about the cat:

4. This kid, who wants to fall far from the tree:
Me to my son: You remind me of me. Son: That's just mean.
5. This kid, who made this feel-good fortune teller:

6. This kid, who knows their mom hates the word "moist:"

7. This kid, who drew a portrait of his father, flatulence and all:

8. And this kid, whose portrait of dad included him digging in his nose and scratching his, er, "equipment:"

9. This kid, who stuck a Lego head in their mom's lipstick:

10. This kid, who's not saying you're not beautiful or anything:
My almost 6 year old son just told me he wished he had my moustache. #SickBurn #Savage #ShitMyKidSays
11. This kid, who answered honestly:

12. This kid, who put their dad on blast:

13. And this kid, who put their mom on blast:

14. This kid, who prefers takeout:
Me: We all make mistakes. 5: Even you? Me: Yep 5: Oh yeah! Like when you're trying to cook food that tastes good but then it doesn't?
15. And this kid, who knows how to give gifts that express exactly how they feel:
