The parents of the BuzzFeed Community recently told us what they really want their friends without kids to know. Now here’s what non-parents wish their friends with kids knew:
1. "Show me one or two photos of the kids. Not the whole album."
2. "Just because I don't have kids doesn't mean I have a lot of time on my hands. My schedule is still full!"
3. "Constantly being told that I don't know what being tired is after you ask how I'm doing is rude. Yes, 'parent-tired' is a different tired, but I'm not trying to get into a competition — I'm just answering your question."
4. "If you have a baby shower, a gender reveal party, and a visitation party after the baby is born, don't expect me to bring a present every time."
5. "It's OK that I never want to have kids, and no — I probably won't change my mind."
6. "If you say your kid is '31 months old', I have no idea what that means. Please just say 'two and a half.'"
7. "Sometimes the noise at your house can be too much for me. I know that you're used to hearing your children shriek, but it's like an icepick to my eardrum. GotDAMN!"
8. "Pictures of blown-out diapers and baby's first projectile vomit may be entertaining to other parents, but the rest of us don't want to see that when we're scrolling through our social media timelines!"
9. "I love babysitting your kids! You deserve a night off, and your kids are amazing! So don't worry — it's not a burden. I love the practice!"
10. "I get it — Michael says 'please' and 'thank you' and Susan can already recite her ABCs. But that doesn't make them child prodigies, so calm down."
11. "I understand you can't text back right away. I know your life is more hectic than mine and it's OK — I know you still care."
12. "But when you don't respond to messages for a week because 'having kids is so busy' but you post DOZENS of pictures of your toddler on social media every day, it's not cool, Dude."
13. "We love you and your kids, but we want to talk about other things, too — music, movies, work, YOU."
14. "Your stroller is not a tank. Don't drive it like one."
15. "Not every invitation includes your baby. Sometimes I just want to hang out with you WITHOUT the kids. If you can't make it, that's cool. If you have to cancel, fine — I understand. But please make some time for your friends. Don't show up at the bar asking for a high chair."
16. "If you're going to send photo holiday cards, include yourselves! You're the one we've known for years. Your kids are basically strangers!"
17. "Invite us over! We want to see you. We don't care that your house is messy — ours probably is, too!"
18. "It really hurts when you post on social media that you 'need mom friends' when we've been trying our hardest to continue to relate to you after you had kids."
19. "I have a right to be annoyed when your child misbehaves in a public place and ruins an outing. Yes, sometimes they don't do as they're told. No, I should not have to put up with it."
20. "I'm jealous that you have kids and I don't."
21. "I will still call my cats my babies around you, and you'll have to get over it."
22. "Just because you have kids now doesn't mean your lives are more important than your friends' lives. Ask how we're doing once in a while — we have things we want to talk about, too!"
23. "Don't put your kid on the phone with no warning when we are in the middle of a conversation. I don't find nonsensical gurgling cute."
24. "You should probably wait a few minutes between complaining about your children and asking me when I'm going to have any."
25. "You can share your baby name ideas — trust me, we aren't going to steal them."
26. "I was really worried when you got pregnant that our friendship would change. But I love what our friendship is now, and your kid is the best addition to it I didn't know I needed."
27. "And remember that we're your village. I may not have kids, but I'm happy to tap in when you need help. Having a tough day? I'll make you the best damn casserole. Rough week? I'll be there with a bottle of wine in one hand and a box of diapers in the other. Just don't ask me to change those diapers."
Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.