19 Really Weird — And Really Hilarious — Punishments People Actually Gave Their Kids
"My mom made me express dog anal glands three times a day...without gloves."
Anyone who's ever been a kid has gotten in trouble at some point.
Well, Reddit user stuartwolf asked people to share the strangest punishment their parents ever gave them as a kid, and OMG these are good...
1. "When I got in trouble, I was forced to smell dog breath. Because 'if we have to deal with the filth from your mouth, then you have to deal with the filth from its mouth.' It sounds silly, but I begged my parents to give me anything but that!"
2. "My mom always told me I would end up in prison. So as punishment, she would make me sit in timeout under an office desk with a slat back chair turned upside down on top of it, so that the back of the chair covered the opening like bars. Then, come dinner time, she would feed me hard rolls and water."
3. "If I cursed, my mom would make me go into the bathroom and say every curse word I knew while looking in the mirror, so that I could see how 'ugly' I looked while cursing."
4. "After I made fun of my sister for wetting the bed and called her a baby, my mom made me wear a pull-up whenever my sister wore one."
5. "My room had a full-sized color TV with cable, video games, and all my stuff. So when I got in trouble, my parents sent me to their room — which had a tiny black and white TV with an antenna that only got one channel."
6. "When I was 15, I was tormenting my little brother by grossing him out — burping in his face, making him smell my feel, stuff like that. And then I called him a pussy for being grossed out so easily. Well, he went crying to my mom about it, and she put me to work in her dog grooming business, making me clean kennels without a scooper, and making me express dog anal glands three times a day...without gloves."
7. "We had a basic bow and arrow which we were allowed to shoot at a cardboard box in the backyard. Well, when I was very young and dumb, I crawled into the box while my brother was firing. My parents were not pleased, and to demonstrate how dangerous what I had done was, they made me lay on the couch for the whole day and pretend I was in a hospital bed."
8. "The 'Buck Rag.' It's a rag that's been rubbed all over a sweaty, oily, piss-soaked billy goat, and is often used for goat breeding purposes. Well, in our Alabama town, it became popular for parents to use them to punish children. The teenager would be taken outside, and the parents would drape the rag over the kid's face and tie a knot in the back. Plenty of room to breathe, no room to avoid the smell."
"I never understood why people feared it so much until my parents gave it to me one night for sneaking around with my boyfriend. I still have nightmares."
9. "My stepfather made me eat biscuits and gravy when I was in trouble. I absolutely hated that food."
10. "I would get grounded to the front porch because I would entertain myself in my room. I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone except to say that I'm grounded and can't talk."
11. "I went to Catholic school, and once my mum found out I ditched Mass, so she made me go to all seven masses offered by my church that weekend. I spent like ten hours in church that weekend. I had the gospel and homily memorized."
12. "When I got in trouble in high school, my dad would hand me five dice. I would roll them, and whatever number came up, I would have to alternate that many push-ups and sit-ups, counting down, until I got down to zero. My father was a drill Sargeant in the Army."
13. "I had to fill cut-open tennis balls with pennies. I’m still not sure what that was about."
14. "When I was six, I did something that angered my dad, and I wasn't allowed to mention anything related to Poke´mon for a month."
15. "If I misbehaved in the car, my mom would lower the window and say that a bird would fly in if I continued to misbehave."
16. "When I was 10, mom would take my NES games for a week. When I was 13, mom would take my SNES games for a week. When I was 16, mom would take my BLANK FLOPPY DISCS for a week. I didn't explain the mistake to her until I moved out."
17. "My dad made me splice together his old 8mm vacation films into a Vine-style highlight reel after I hurt his feelings by refusing to see Chef with him."
18. "I had to write book reports on books of the Bible. I would have to read the book, discuss the major themes, and explain how it related to my bad behavior. As a result, I really know my Bible and no longer believe in religion."
19. "We had horses growing up, and their shit was put in a pile at the end of the pasture. Well, I got caught cursing in 8th grade, and my Dad said, 'If you're going to let 'shit' come out of your mouth, you can go move it around.' So I spent three days moving the manure pile from one side of the pasture to the other and back."
Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.