There's no doubt about it — parenting can be both the most random and the most hilarious experience ever.
Well, we rounded up some of the funniest recent parenting tweets we could find, and we were not prepared to laugh this hard:
1.
I caught my 9-year-old helping my 5-year-old with her math homework. When they noticed I was watching, they started fighting. Have to keep up appearances.
2.
why can’t there be a school picture package with only 1 big picture and 3 medium ones? has anyone in existence used up 52 wallet sized pics of their kids?
3.
Half of parenting is just moving cups away from the edge of the table
4.
5.
I flexed on my kids by locking the door while I was in the bathroom. They flexed back by FaceTiming me from the iPad while I was in there.
6.
Prayers for my teen who has a long, uphill battle overcoming her mom hugging her at the bus stop.
7.
my 6yo keeps drawing these pictures of "the shadowman." i'm not ready to die y'all 😭
8.
The parenting books didn’t warn me that someday I’d find myself at the playground wiping my kid’s bottom with a McDonald’s cheeseburger wrapper, yet here we are
9.
My 3yo wakes me up way too early each morning by singing. So this morning, I woke up early, went into his room and started singing to show him how much it sucks. Then we had a duet and my point was missed.
10.
Took my kids to church for the first time and my daughter asked who the ninja was. It was the priest.
11.
Me: Why are you naked? You can’t be naked at school you know. My 5yo: I know that’s why I’m naked now because I’m going to miss being naked so much.
12.
when you really need your toddler to stop asking questions for just two goddam minutes
13.
Little boy crushing on my daughter, but she doesn’t want to play so she's sending him on pointless errands while she colors a picture 🤣 "bring me a barbie i don't care which one" “not that barbie a different one" "go find a slinky now" (we don't have one)
14.
Half of parenting is just discussing whether or not your kid has pooped yet today
15.
My son has a shirt that says, “my dad can beat up your dad,” and honestly I don’t like the pressure
16.
‘Look mommy, I wrote one of my spelling words!’
17.
9 wrote a song called “My Mummy Has A Squishy Tummy” and he’s singing it while his brother and sister play harmonica and bongos and I seem to have unlocked an ultimate level of parenting hell
18.
7-year-old: I ate all of my lunch at school, and half of my friend's. Me: Didn't she want her lunch? 7: When someone gives me food, I don't ask questions.
19.
Hear me out a party bus but it picks up other moms and we get to sleep while it drives around playing true crime podcasts and nobody talks to us or asks us for anything
20.
me: any ideas for dinner? wife: I don't know...maybe P-I-Z-Z-A? son: I KNOW YOU'RE SPELLING! me: sure, or what about T-A-C-O-S? son: I'M IN KINDERGARTEN NOW! I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!! me: o podemos ordenar comida china? son: WHAT WAS THAT??? WE'RE NOT LEARNING THAT!!!
21.
My 4-year-old was FaceTiming my mom, and took off with my phone. Later I opened the pantry and saw my mom still on FaceTime waiting to be found. My 4-year-old left my mom in the pantry. Grandparents are golden.
22.
Dishware companies: we've made unbreakable bowls my kids: we don't give a shit
23.
My son woke me up at 2am to let me know he was awake, if you’re wondering if kids might be for you.
24.
no one: absolutely no one: my five year old: you can touch my blood if you want
25.
son: can we go to the store to get new toys? me: we don't have any money son: they're free! me: they aren't free, I have to give them my credit card son: yeah but they give it right back
26.
Parents don’t vacation, they keep their kids alive in a different location.
27.
Non-parent: What’s YOUR love language? Parent: Silence.
28.
4 challenged me to an art competition so I drew an entire garden with vegetation and wildlife and 4 drew something vaguely resembling a flower, then she announced she was the judge and declared herself the winner this is bullshit
29.
My 3yo to the cashier at the grocery store: "My mommy does meth good." Me: "MATH, I do math good." *heads home to tidy up for my surprise CPS visit.*
30.
They say as your kids get older they get more likeable but that can’t be true because my parents still don’t like me
31.
11-year-old: I need twenty dollars for another thing at school. Me: You're expensive. 11: I'm worth it.