19 Parents Share The Things Their Kids Are Hiding From Them, And They Are Hilarious, Random, And Heartbreaking
"My 6-year-old son poops in the backyard every morning and blames it on the dog."
Recently, Reddit user okaysobasically_ asked parents to share the thing their kids are hiding from them, and these will honestly make you laugh, cry, and go, "Aww."
1. "A few years ago, I was going through my third-grade son's backpack and I found a can of ravioli. I never bought any ravioli, but when I asked him about it, he burst into tears and pulled out a box under his bed FILLED WITH RAVIOLI..."
3. "My 2-year-old attempts to hide the 75-pound family dog in various places in his room, so that the dog can sleep in there with him. So far, I've found the dog in the closet, behind the curtains, surrounded by stuffed animals to 'blend in,' and on many occasions, I see a giant mound under the comforter at the foot of his bed."
4. "My daughter has been hiding a picture of her mother and I on our honeymoon under her pillow for a long time. We've been divorced for four years."
"I don't have the heart to take it from her, but it's tough to see it every time I change the sheets."
5. "I thought my 15-year-old was diligently plugging the charger into her phone every night before going upstairs for bed...until I discovered she was actually plugging it into an empty phone case and taking her phone with her."
6. "I have a drinking problem, and I hide my booze. But one day, my daughter found my hiding place, so now she pours it out and replaces it with water, thinking that as long as the bottle is the same, I won't notice. So a few times a week, I'll take a shot and realize it's water, then I'll cry and stay sober for a day or so."
"I've never told her that I know what she's doing because when I taste the water it brings me joy knowing how much she loves me. Doing that helps me put things into perspective."
7. "I found a loaded one-shot Nerf gun under my 5-year-old daughter's pillow. When I asked her what she was doing with it, she whispered, 'It's for the tooth fairy.'"
8. "My 16-year-old had a box of condoms with a price sticker from the dollar store in his backpack, and they fell out while I was moving his backpack to the backseat. I bought him a better brand and replaced them, and we have never discussed it."
"We have discussed sex, just not me switching the condom boxes."
9. "My daughter is too shy to tell me she started her period, but I'm not going to embarrass her. We've had 'the talk,' and she will come to me if and when she's comfortable."
10. "My 6-year-old got out of bed early in the morning to sneak downstairs and steal Monopoly money from the bank of the unfinished game we left out on the table the night before."
11. "My son's hiding he has a crush on the babysitter and that he draws hearts to give to her. He's 6."
12. "We had a foster kid who hid about two handfuls of spaghetti with sauce under his pillow. We found it the next day while he was at school, cleaned it up, and never told him we found it. But we made sure to have spaghetti twice a week after that."
13. "Everybody else's kids are hiding books to read secretly. Mine is hiding in his bedroom trying to use a glue stick like lip balm."
14. "My kid would get up in the middle of the night, sneak into the kitchen, and eat a whole tomato except for the little circle where it connects to the stem. He would then hide the little stem circles under whatever was on top of the trash and go to sleep. We always made sure there were tomatoes for him."
15. "My 9-year-old stepdaughter was in her room one day for hours with markers and papers. I assumed she was making a picture book or something, but it turns out she was hiding our calendar and making cards for everyone for every holiday and birthday coming up. I haven't asked her about it, but I'm super proud of her long-term planning abilities."
16. "My 3-year-old nephew opens a bag of Lay's and sneaks two chips, then sneaks two more the next day, and so on. I will never have that kind of self-control."
17. "My 6-year-old locks the bathroom door so he can get some privacy. Well, last night I looked across the kitchen to see the door slightly ajar and my son engaging in his private time. Doing push-ups. I didn't say anything; I just watched him finish his five reps, flex in the mirror, and walk out of the bathroom."
18. "My 7-year-old daughter is trying to impress me by learning origami. She doesn't think I can see all the missing paper and paper cranes hidden throughout her room. So I bought two more reams of paper, and left them out 'by accident.' Lazy old dad, not putting away his office supplies."
19. "My 4-year-old wrote a letter she keeps in her bottom drawer which she will go get when my husband and I die. We're not allowed to look at it or touch it, but apparently it says that we gave her loads of money and she gave us loads of pictures."
Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.