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Apr 18, 2019

Parents Are Sharing The Hilarious Reasons They've Had To Pick Their Kids Up From School And You Will Seriously Laugh 'Til You Cry

"A parent at our school had to come get their kid who was caught selling imaginary friends to the younger students for $1 a piece."

Recently a viral Reddit thread asked parents to share the most hilarious reasons they were called to pick up their kid from school:

Fox

Here are most random, adorable, and WTF responses that will seriously make you laugh until you cry:

ABC

1. "I had just gotten off work when the daycare called me in a panic. My 4-year-old son decided to put the training potty seat around his neck and it got stuck. I showed up to find the fire department had arrived, they were able to get if off quickly. Fortunately, they also took a picture of him with it around his neck — if he ever gets married, it's going in with the wedding photos!"

Maxtrt

2. "When I was in 7th grade, I worked in the office, and the kid next to me just wouldn't shut up. He kept rattling on and on, and I'd had enough of it. Well, I had a monster fart brewing, so I cocked my leg, locked eyes with him, told him to shut his mouth, and farted on him. At least, that was the plan. Except that instead of farting, I completely shit my pants. And this wasn't a little nugget — this was a full pants-load of chocolate pudding that ran down my leg and made a puddle on the floor! Everything in the office went completely silent, and the kid stared at me with horror in his eyes. Then I slowly raised my hand and said, 'I think I need to call my mom.'"

"I went home, took a bath, and threw the pants away. That kid was seated on the opposite side of the room from me the next day, and I never had a problem with him again."

thndrchld

3. "A parent at our school had to come get their kid who was caught selling imaginary friends to the younger students for $1 a piece."

NBC

4. "My kid got in huge trouble in Kindergarten after a little girl told the teacher that he said the 'S word.' So when I came to pick him up, I asked, 'So, what's the 'S word?'' And he stared at his shoes and whispered, 'Sexy.'"

hahahahthunk

5. "When I was in second grade, I got a hand-me-down shirt that had Braille on the front and I wore it to school one day. Well, apparently, no one ever took the time to figure out what it said, but there was a translator on the sleeve. So I sat down in class and translated the word one letter at a time: 'F-U-C-K-O-F-F.' My teacher made me wait in the office while they called my parents to bring me a new shirt. Probably because I had a classmate who was partially blind and read Braille."

Raze321

6. "Because we had taught our 7-year-old son that nudity is natural and nothing to be ashamed of — and it turned our he'd been walking around the halls flashing his penis to everyone he met!"

Universal Pictures

7. "I was called in because the elementary school was going on a field trip and my son forgot to give me the permission slip, so he decided to give forgery a whirl. Since he was only in first grade, of course the handwriting was awful. And he signed my name, 'Mom.'"

mulletamore

8. "My 6-year-old son was very into aviation history, especially World War II planes. So we found him a show to watch that was all about epic battles between planes during various wars. Well, his teacher called me very concerned one day when my son told everyone at school how everyday when he gets home, his parents let him watch dog fights. She laugh-cried when I told her that 'Dog Fights' was the name of the show and that we weren't actually hosting a pitbull arena in our backyard."

"A letter was also drafted and sent home with my son's classmates the next day explaining the difference...as other kids had gone home and told their parents they wanted to watch dog fights, too!"

ismellcatpee123

9. "My son went to a private Catholic school, and once when my son was in third grade, a nun called me because he and a friend were having a 'distance peeing' contest in the bathroom."

TvLand

10. "My youngest son had a slight speech impediment when he was in nursery school in which he would replace his S's with F's. Well, I was called to have a chat with the school's head because I'd unthinkingly used the phrase 'So long, suckers!' when pulling off from a traffic light the day before — and my son liked the sound of it so much that he had used the phrase himself."

badgemonkey007

11. "I was in sixth grade and in my 'emo' phase, so I was wearing a lot of black eyeshadow from Claire's. Well, I guess I wasn't very good at makeup yet, because the teachers called my mom into the office to discuss my 'injuries' and who was 'hurting me.'"

GloomyBaby4

12. "When my daughter was in 2nd grade, I got a call about a 'present' she brought to school. The night before, she had asked to go to the store to buy some Rolos for her friend's birthday. But turns out, she wrapped each Rolo in red paper, bundled a few together, put little black pipe-cleaner 'fuses' on them, and attached a note that said, 'You're the bomb.' The school was not amused."

13. "My son got his finger stuck in his desk. The teacher tried using oily substances to lube it up and pull it out, but it wouldn't budge. They had to carry the desk all the way down the long hallway to the principal's office, my son doing the walk of shame beside it."

Texas_Crazy_Curls

14. "I had just gotten out of my college class when I saw that I'd missed a voicemail from my daughter's preschool — they said she had been throwing up and that I needed to come pick her up. When I got to the school I found my daughter with a trashcan on her lap. I was told that she kept announcing she was throwing up, then coughing and spitting into the trashcan but was otherwise cheerful and talkative. Well, when we got to the car she kissed me on the cheek, told me she missed me, and asked where I wanted to go for lunch! That kid busted herself out of preschool to finagle a lunch date with me, and it worked!"

noelleptc

15. "When I was a kid, the principal called my parents because I used permanent marker to draw beards on everyone, and the principal decided it was against the rules to 'mask yourself.'"

16. "My school called my mother to come pick me and my twin sister up because we were turning blue. Only after she arrived did we all remember she'd put brand-new flannel sheets on our bed the night before and forgot to wash them first."

CrochetyNurse

17. "Had to talk to the director of my son's daycare when he was 3-years-old because they said he'd told another kid he was going to fuck him up. Turns out he was singing Bruno Mars — 'Uptown funk you up, uptown funk you up!'"

TvLand

18. "My mother had given my daughter a silk warm-up suit. But we didn't know it was silk, so we washed it in the regular wash. Well, our daughter wore it to school the next day, and I got a call to pick her up because her clothes were 'falling apart.' By the time I got to school, her clothes were absolutely shredded."

Lumbergod

19. "I was called to come pick up my son when he was in first grade because he was being 'disrespectful to his classmates.' Well, my son told me that a boy named Jeffrey pantsed him, and that made no sense to me. Then — about an hour later — the light bulb went on, and I asked, 'You didn't wear any underwear today, did you?' Nope."

NBC

eaterct

Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.

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