14 People Shared The Pettiest Things They've Done To Get Back At Their Exes, And I Guess It's Petty O'Clock
"I baked him apple turnovers for breakfast...filled with laxative pills."
Well, some of our readers chimed in with their own stories of breakup pettiness, and these are just as good:
1. "I found out that my ex was cheating on me the day before he left on a guys trip to watch a NASCAR race. So I got up that morning as if everything was fine, and baked him apple turnovers for breakfast...filled with laxative pills, which I had crushed up and put into the filling."
2. "My horrible, abusive ex and I broke up after four years, but we still lived together for three months afterwards. So I slept with one of his friends...in his bed."
"When he found out about it a couple months later, the look on his face was priceless. And he refused to sleep in the bed after that, so I got a free Cal-King!"
3. "My mom showed up to her divorce hearing dressed in a full clown costume we had from Halloween. The judge was not amused. He demanded to know why she was dressed that way, and, without a beat, my mom replied, 'Our whole marriage was a joke — why shouldn't our divorce be one, too?'"
"The judge gave her 10 minutes to change or be held in contempt of court. Luckily, she had on a very smart business suit underneath."
4. "My ex broke up with me for one of my best friends. So I took our dog, the PlayStation, all the silverware, and a beloved signed jersey I got him, unplugged the fridge and freezer, and I left a pile of dog shit on his bed."
5. "My ex-wife hates the smell of bananas — stomach-turning, gagging hates. So I filled her car with banana-scented beads. I put them in the air conditioner, under the floor mats, every tiny nook and cranny I could find."
6. "I was in an on again/off again relationship with my ex for three years, and we were even engaged twice. Well, the final time he broke up with me, I found out he had been cheating, and I decided enough was enough. He had given me his Facebook password while we were together, so I logged into his account and deleted every female friend he had, then changed the password and the corresponding email address."
"Petty, yes. Therapeutic? Abso-fucking-lutely."
7. "My ex, who dumped me so he could party with his friends, works at a bar I wasn't allowed to go to because it was his 'job to flirt with customers.' Well, the bar has a jukebox you can choose songs for through an app. So for a year after we broke up, I would just blast garbage music on it for an hour here and there."
8. "I commandeered all of my cheating boyfriend's social media accounts, including his Snapchat, email, texts, dating accounts, apps, and voicemails, and deleted everything, including his backups."
9. "My ex cheated on me with my (then) best friend. When I got to our apartment to get my things, I found some of her clothes mixed in with mine. So I took them with me, and used them to wipe my feet every time I came home."
10. "I worked really hard and got the job that both my ex and his current partner dreamed of."
11. "I signed my ex up online for wake-up calls, which I set for random hours all through the night."
12. "My ex and I bought a house together, and I moved out. I kept trying to get my stuff, but he kept being a dick about it. So finally, I told him I was coming to get my stuff in an hour, and I went over to find out that his new girlfriend was already staying there. I know because she made sure I saw all her stuff there..."
13. "After one of my closest friends broke up with her boyfriend, who treated her like crap, we went over to get her stuff from their old apartment. We knew he wouldn't get home until later that night when it was dark, so we removed all the light bulbs from the entryways to the rooms and loosened the rest just enough so that the lights wouldn't turn on."
"I would have liked to have been a fly on the wall when he got home to complete darkness."