There's no question about it — parenting is random, hilarious, and hard as hell.
Well, we rounded up some of the funniest recent parenting tweets we could find, and these moms and dads pretty much nail it:
1.
My 3 year old, who doesn’t notice her pants are inside out or that her shoes are on the wrong feet, can spot a diced onion in her food from 3 feet away
2.
I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to a bunch of toys stacked on top of me, which is the toddler’s version of drawing a dick on my forehead.
3.
“We don’t wear what we slept in out in public.” -Me, lying to my child
4.
Over 45% of parenting is just yelling "WHERE DID ALL THE SPOONS GO?"
5.
My 4 year old just asked why she can’t eat tacos every day and honestly, I think I’d have an easier time explaining where babies come from.
6.
Me: why are your socks wet? Toddler: sorry mommy Me: WHY ARE YOUR SOCKS WET? Toddler: Me: WHY ARE THEY WET? Toddler: I love you mommy This is not good
7.
My husband went to Costco yesterday and bought like 8 boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios and I predict we have two hours until the kids decide they don’t like Honey Nut Cheerios anymore.
8.
5-year-old: I'm going to be so good tomorrow. Me: What about today? 5: I have plans.
9.
Me: Did you poop? 2yo: yes yes yes yes yesye yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yesyes yes yes yes yesye yes yes yes yes yes yes
10.
I can call my kids assholes. You can’t. That’s the rule.
11.
Thoughts & prayers for my son who thought his phone was charging overnight only to find he must go to school on 6%.
12.
Me: I’ll do it when I finish my coffee. Kid: But you never finish your coffee. Me: Exactly.
13.
"I'm not really hungry for dinner" is teenager for "you are definitely going to find 3 empty soda bottles and 16 fruit snack wrappers in my bedroom."
14.
What I say: “please be quiet this is an important phone call!” What my kids hear: BATTLE ROYALE! IT’S A FIGHT TO THE DEATH! *body slam*
15.
My daughter woke up at 6:06 today instead of her usual 6:00 because we let her stay up 5 hours past her bedtime last night.
16.
No one makes more observations than a child sharing a stall with his parent inside a public restroom.
17.
After I fell asleep on the couch my sweet 3 year old daughter came over, draped her blankie over me, and lovingly put a Cheez-it in my mouth. She gets me.
18.
Me: *makes 120 gazillion meals* Kids: yuk Husband: *makes pancakes* Kids: daddy you’re a much better cook than mummy
19.
Flex on your kids by waking yourSELF up several times in the middle of the night for no reason.
20.
If I can bring my kids I’m not coming.
21.
7-year-old: Do I have to go to school? Me: Yes. 7: Fine. But I won't learn. Me: Deal.
22.
Sorry my toddler is being an asshole, we're hoping he's working on a new milestone, but it might just be who he is now
23.
New mom: omg babies are SO DIFFICULT Toddler mom: Just you wait Kid mom: Oh no just YOU wait Teen mom: OH NO JUST YOU WAIT Adult mom: YOU HAVE NO IDEA ROOKIE Grandma: *sips tea* Repeat until infinity