Recently, we shared an old Reddit thread in which people shared the weirdest things they learned about their spouses after moving in with them, and they were seriously funny:
Well, wives of the BuzzFeed Community chimed in in the comments with some really hilarious things they discovered after moving in with their husbands, and I'm laughing so hard:
1. "My husband turns on the shower while he poops — not to shower afterward, just because he 'likes the steam.'"
2. "My husband sleeps every night with a gross-ass 'blanky' that has holes in it. He's 34 years old!"
3. "My husband irons all of his clothes. I'm talking swim trunks, T-shirts, underwear, and even socks! He refuses to wear anything that he hasn't pressed."
4. "My husband brushes his teeth with scalding hot water. He thinks it gets his teeth cleaner."
5. "When my husband and I moved in together, he would take his socks off and just shove them under the couch. I kept buying packs of socks, not understanding where they went, until we moved out, lifted up the couch, and found a metric ton of once-worn socks."
6. "My husband lets out silent-but-deadly farts and doesn't say anything until someone smells it. The worst is when I turn over in bed and a wretched smell wafts over me from his direction."
7. "He says the weirdest, creepiest things in his sleep. My favorite was when he said 'meat tenderizer,' and most recently when he scooted right up to my ear and whispered, 'CRUNCH.' It was horrifying...and hilarious."
8. "My husband spills something at least once a day. I only spill, like, once a month, but with him it’s every single mf day."
9. "Anytime a little tune, jingle, or unusual noise plays during a commercial, TV show, or video game, my husband HAS to mimic it. Not in a mocking fashion, but just a compulsive need to make the noise himself."
10. "My ex used to undress completely to poop, then had to take an entire shower afterward. We had to schedule our days around his poops."
11. "He brushes his teeth twice in a row. He's Italian and speaks broken English, so whenever I ask him why, he always says, 'One is for clean and one is for fresh!' and adds a chef's kiss to the end."
12. "My husband has the worst night terrors and will scream at the top of his lungs in the dead of night. The first time it happened, I literally thought he was being murdered next to me! Now I can tell when he's working himself up, so I gently rub his back until he calms down."
13. "I didn't find out until we were married that my husband doesn't use nail clippers — he just picks his fingernails and toenails to shorten them. It makes me extremely uncomfortable."
14. "My husband leaves cabinet doors and drawers open all the time. Sometimes I'll walk in the kitchen and there will be three cabinet doors open and the silverware drawer pulled out."
15. "My husband leaves a trail wherever he goes. Sticks of gum, money, shoes, socks, shorts, coffee cups, towels, omfg."
16. "My husband has to wear basketball shorts under everything. He puts on these huge, baggy basketball shorts even under tight jeans or swim trunks. He says he feels naked without them."
17. "On our honeymoon, after seven years together, I learned that my husband doesn't like Tom Hanks! If it wasn't for our puppy, I think I'd have divorced him. I mean, IT'S TOM HANKS!"
