4."My husband brushes his teeth with scalding hot water. He thinks it gets his teeth cleaner."
5."When my husband and I moved in together, he would take his socks off and just shove them under the couch. I kept buying packs of socks, not understanding where they went, until we moved out, lifted up the couch, and found a metric ton of once-worn socks."
7."He says the weirdest, creepiest things in his sleep. My favorite was when he said 'meat tenderizer,' and most recently when he scooted right up to my ear and whispered, 'CRUNCH.' It was horrifying...and hilarious."
8."My husband spills something at least once a day. I only spill, like, once a month, but with him it’s every single mf day."
9."Anytime a little tune, jingle, or unusual noise plays during a commercial, TV show, or video game, my husband HAS to mimic it. Not in a mocking fashion, but just a compulsive need to make the noise himself."
12."My husband has the worst night terrors and will scream at the top of his lungs in the dead of night. The first time it happened, I literally thought he was being murdered next to me! Now I can tell when he's working himself up, so I gently rub his back until he calms down."