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You're Totally Ready To Have Kids If You Can Check Off 22/36 Of These Things

So you think you're ready, huh?

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  1. check all that<br />apply (be honest — we won't judge you to your face)
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    Check
    I have a pet or plant and it's alive
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    I'm cool with very little to no sex period at all ever<br />
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    someone else's pee, poop, snot, vomit on my clothes, hair, or face doesn't freak me out
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    i can refrain from saying "damn""fuck" or "Shit" for 18 years, or at least try
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    how do i feel about sleep? totally overrated.
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    I'm comfortable with being late for every damn thing no matter how hard i try
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    i have about a billion dollars in the bank for diapers
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    i do a mean mickey mouse, big bird, or spongebob impression
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    and i will scare the shit out of any closet monster any day
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    i'm done drinking
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    just kidding, i'm ready to start drinking again
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    i will not cry when i see all the cool things my friends are doing together on instagram
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    i can listen to the <i>frozen</i> soundtrack every day and it will be so amazing, guys
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    i can tolerate itty-bitty grabby fingers all up in my food
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    and half-eaten chicken nuggets and cold mac 'n' cheese are totally my faves anyway
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    kidz bop is the fucking shit, dude
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    my partner can forgive my calling them an asshole's asshole after a rough night
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    I can forgive my partner's calling me an asshole's asshole after a rough night
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    I'm ready to become the best snuggler ever
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    i'm willing to learn what it truly means to sacrifice
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    and what it means to love someone unconditionally<br />
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    I'm okay with worrying about every little thing every second of the day
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    i'm ready to rock my mom/dad bod, no matter what it looks like
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    and I can totally be responsible, swear!
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    I will not go crazy if i can't leave my house for, like, years
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    I'm comfortable existing two seconds from a nervous breakdown 24/7<br />
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    and showering, pooping, and shaving with an audience
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    omg, i love doing copious amounts of laundry!
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    i can answer the question "why" with enthusiasm every time because curiosity is so awesome
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    And take all criticism of my parenting in stride, even from "experts" who don't have kids
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    I'm ok with catching up on my favorite shows later than everyone else
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    and my dreams of traveling the world are waning, anyway
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    I have an adorbs Pinterest account or am willing to get one
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    I understand that my social media accounts will basically become my kid's baby book
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    i can accept that there will be no "weekends" for me anymore ever
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    and that my world will be turned upside down in the best way possible
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