We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us how their relationship has changed during the pandemic, and their answers were honest, beautiful, heartbreaking, and most of all real:
1. "In March 2020, we were engaged and almost finished planning our wedding. Then he got sick after an infected coworker came into the office. It was really bad — he could barely breathe, and I was terrified of losing him. It really made us rethink our priorities and reconsider pushing back our wedding date. So we ended up getting married in a tiny ceremony that we livestreamed so all of our friends and family could watch."
2. "The pandemic allowed me to realize I'm gay, so I came out to my husband of 15 years, and we are both ecstatic about where our lives are going. We have a better relationship than we've had in years, because there's nothing left but honesty."
3. "We quarantined together, and our relationship was made much stronger, since we were able to solely focus on it. While we do get annoyed with each other, we realized that we genuinely like being together."
4. "The pandemic took a really big mental toll on my boyfriend and me. We were unemployed, depressed, and stressed, and we kind of helped each other spiral down into that abyss. And we felt like such shit about ourselves that our relationship really suffered, and is still suffering. For example, we had sex maybe once in all of 2021. When you're so worried about money, your health, and such fundamental things, it makes it really hard to find the mental and physical energy to put toward a relationship."
5. "We were in a long-distance relationship, and I was just getting ready to visit him when the pandemic broke loose. Well, thank god I didn't manage to visit — I've avoided so many mistakes with the wrong person! I realized I felt trapped even with the distance, unloved, used, and unhappy."
6. "We've been together for 15 years, married for 10, and it wasn't until going through quarantine, COVID, job loss, moving, and toxic family political drama that I realized my spouse is my family."
"Things have been hard, but I'm grateful to have someone by my side who always has my back and makes life better."
7. "My husband and I are complete opposites — he wants to be together 24/7 and I'm an only child who needs a lot of alone time. Right before the pandemic, we downsized from 3,000 square feet to a 1,500-foot fixer-upper, and that was hard enough on its own. I honestly felt so suffocated initially in lockdown that I was walking 10 miles a day through the city to get out of the house! But a year later, we've grown so much closer."
"I really needed to examine my need for so much alone time, and he is less offended when I do need some space. I think as crazy as this situation is, I can't imagine anyone else I'd rather be locked in the house with."
8. "My partner and I got married and had twins during the pandemic. If anything, it's taught us that we can survive anything together."
9. "I used to always enjoy my alone time, but right before the pandemic, we hit a rough patch and realized we needed more quality time together. Then the pandemic hit, my husband got laid off, and suddenly we had the time."
"He started doing more chores around the house, we hung out more, and we're stronger for it."
10. "We had been separated for six years, and he hadn't seen our son since he was 6 months old. I worked in a nursing home and saw so many people pass away from the isolation, and I didn't want my son to grow up not knowing his dad, so I decided to call him and ask if he wanted to see our son. We are now back together and trying for another child."
11. "My boyfriend and I have always had a strong relationship with good communication, but the pandemic got us talking about our fears and anxieties."
"It's been nice to have someone to talk to when things get overwhelming, and the pandemic only solidified our relationship and the fact that we belong together."
12. "We both had to work during the pandemic. I'm in healthcare, and I was reassigned to help with the COVID-19 outbreaks. So we were too tired from working to even start arguments with each other!"
—TH
13. "We met right before quarantine when I was on vacation in his city. We were long distance, but since nobody could see anyone, he honestly didn't seem so far away. We quickly became each other's support during isolation through daily phone calls. Then I was laid off, so I decided to bite the bullet and apply to jobs near him. Now we live together happily, and he just asked me to marry him!"
"As fucked up as it is, without the pandemic, I’m not sure we would be in the situation we're in. We needed to rely on each other, so we did."
14. "At the beginning of the pandemic, my boyfriend transitioned to working remotely while I still had to report to the office every day. It's tough because after working all day and running errands, all I want to do is be home, and all he ever wants to do is go out and stay out. It's pulled us in two very different directions."
15. "I lived in an area that was given a hard lockdown — nobody in or out without negative test results, and we had only been dating for three weeks! So it was either move in together or be separated indefinitely, and we moved in. It did put a lot of pressure on the relationship because we didn't get to date or have any of the fun stuff before jumping into sorting out bills and doing laundry. So the plan was to return to living apart after the lockdown ended, but when it did, we realized we couldn't fathom waking up every day without each other!"
16. "We've gotten so used to being with each other that when we go out alone, we miss each other right away! We definitely have a lot of 'quality time,' but when there are moments we prefer to be alone, we just put on our headphones!"
And finally...
17. "We got married in November 2020, and nothing's changed except we get to sleep next to each other every night. We've played a lot more board games, done a lot more crafts together, watched a ton of movies, and played more video games than we ever could have imagined. It's been the best time of my life. What a way to start a marriage, huh?"
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.