People Are Confessing The Things They Did To Get Revenge On Their Exes, And Whoa, Just Whoa
"I cut holes in all of his boxers where his balls would sit."
A while back, we asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the pettiest thing they've ever done after a breakup, and they were wild. Well, our readers chimed in with their own stories of revenge in the comments section, and here are some of their responses — along with the most memorable stories from the original post.
1. "My ex ran off with a married woman, so I slept with her husband."
2. "I cut holes in all of his boxers where his balls would sit, folded them up nicely, and gave them to him when he moved in with the woman he ghosted our children and me for."
"He'd told me he would have to sacrifice his balls if he went back to that woman, so I wrote, 'Sacrifice your balls' on the boxers, too. Him leaving us ended up being the best thing that ever happened to us."
—Karla N., Facebook
3. "I had already kicked him out when I got a notification on my phone that an Amazon delivery was on its way. I hadn't ordered anything, so I looked it up. Turns out he'd ordered one of those period cups for the girl he cheated with — so I ordered a vibrator on his card. When he confronted me about it, I told him, 'You bought something for her pussy, I bought something for mine.'"
—Stephanie Y., Facebook
4. "I took all the buttons and zippers off his shirts and pants."
—Katy P., Facebook
5. "When my ex-husband left me for my friend 10 years ago, I took one shoe from every pair he had and then tied rubber bands on every single fitted hat he owned."
6. "When my mom found out about my dad's affair, she superglued his gas cap shut."
—Samantha R., Facebook
7. "I'm not a petty person anymore, but in the past, when my abusive ex and I finally broke up for good, I had left one of his hats on his car while he was at work. He loved that hat, and I was trying to be kind by returning it without having to see him. But he sent me angry messages after seeing it, and since I'm a musician, he wrote, 'What are you gonna do now, go write a song called 'I Left Your Hat on the Windshield'? So I wrote a song called 'I Left Your Hat on the Windshield' and posted it to YouTube with the caption, 'By request.'"
—Lauren R., Facebook
8. "I took the microwave turntable."
—Amanda R., Facebook
9. "A woman I used to work with found out her husband had cheated. They were quite wealthy, and he had loads of Italian suits, shoes, and cashmere jumpers. So she cut one leg and arm off of everything he owned."
—Deborah M., Facebook
10. "When my ex-husband and I got divorced, the only thing he wanted was a bottle of really expensive champagne someone had given both of us as a gift. I had taken it when I moved out, and he wouldn't let it go, saying it was a present to him, not us. So I took the bottle over to his place, and when he opened the door, I poured half of it out on his doorstep before walking away and saying, 'There's your half of the bottle!'"
11. "I saw my ex in the supermarket and told the security staff that he was shoplifting."
—Tracey R., Facebook
12. "I pawned his PlayStation 4 and used the money to sponsor a pig at the local petting zoo...which I named after him."
"First, middle, and last."
13. "I signed up both him and the woman he cheated with to win trips on like 17 different cruises — a swingers cruise, a sugar baby cruise, an over-50 cruise... Those people never stop calling!"
14. "I sewed raw tuna into the bottom of his curtains."
"Wish I could have been there to see him working out what that smell was."
15. "I superglued his deodorant, shaving cream, toothpaste, and hairspray closed; flipped all the batteries in his remotes; and rubbed sugar water all over his counters so that they would be unbearably sticky."
16. "My ex cheated on me with a girl from work who didn't know we were together. So one day, I made flyers that said, 'Lost dog — if found, watch the f*ck out!' Then I put cutout photos of him on the flyers and placed them all over his car while he was inside his workplace."
17. "My ex who I lived with suddenly broke up with me, his excuse being that he needed to 'find himself.' Well, we shared an Amazon account, so after he moved back in with his parents, I shipped him a compass using his own credit card. The note enclosed read, 'Hope this helps you find yourself.'"
18. "I donated $5 to the San Antonio Zoo to name a cockroach after him...then felt the sweet satisfaction of watching it get eaten alive via webcam by a lizard."
19. "My ex-husband hated salad forks because he thought they were useless. So when I was packing up to leave him, I took all of the silverware...except the salad forks."
20. "I threw slices of cheese on his windshield in the summer so they would be melted on his car by the time he saw them."
21. "She broke up with me in an email. So I subscribed her work email account to as many spam emails as I could — about 200 in total — including about 50 sex toy newsletters. Enjoy the daily horse dildo newsletters, Hannah."
23. "I created a fake social media profile and followed him. Then I started talking to him and eventually set up a 'date' on which he was, of course, stood up by the fake woman I created. Petty? Yes. Satisfying? Also yes."
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.