There's no question about it — 2020 has been, well, challenging for parents. Well, these moms took to Twitter to sum up parenting in 2020 in the most hilariously real way, and I honestly can't stop laughing:
1.
Homeschooling, Day 1: My 8-year-old asked if we were done for the day. It’s 9:17. We started at 9.
2.
If 2020 had a mascot:
3.
Took my kids to the pediatrician yesterday and I told her we’ve barely left the house in 5 months and then she looked at me in all seriousness and asked how much screen time they were getting. I mean... c’mon, lady, read. the. room.
4.
All I’m saying is the babysitters club made me think taking care of kids would be a lot more fun
5.
*5 yo on her kindergarten Zoom class* Teacher: "So what do you do before joining our Zoom class?" 5yo: "My mommy hits me and says 'do good!" Me, no make-up, bagel crumbs on my face, unexpectedly joining the Zoom class: "SHE MEANS I HIGH FIVE HER HAND!!!"
6.
My 6 year old keeps trying to play with me. What does he think I had his little sister for?!
7.
What wine pairs well with Common Core math?
8.
The first rule of parenting is if you open a banana for your child you should be prepared to eat that banana
9.
Me: (on toilet) Sweety, mommy needs privacy when she pees 3: ok (closes door and stands next to me with the dog) Me: 3: we private now
10.
My toddler just screamed GET OFF MY LAWN to her brother so it’s nice to know I’m not the only one becoming a totally different person right now
11.
Every time I tell my daughter I love her, she responds with, “I love daddy,” which is toddler speak for go fuck yourself, mama. Hashtag blessed.
12.
*impossibly trying to homeschool my kid* Ok forget it, just marry someone rich
13.
I think I missed the chapter in the parenting books where it said that I would one day have to patiently wait for a stuffed monkey to take a pretend pee while I was running late.
14.
Anyone know which bug spray works best for my kids bugging the shit out of me?
15.
13- I was pretty young when you had me Me- I think it’s time you went back to school son
16.
My kid yelled she couldn’t wait to be an adult so I handed her the bills, threw the laundry on her bed, replaced her pizza with cauliflower, redirected my student loan calls to her phone and demanded she get me a snack every time she tried to go to the restroom.
17.
*opens door to find my 5YO sprayed an entire bottle of my $80 perfume, painted a dresser in $20 lip gloss, & used my $60 eyeshadow palette on her dolls* Me: {inaudible SCREAMS} 9: well, this is just GREAT! You BROKE MOM!!!
18.
Homeschooling my kids is reminding me that Teacher was not a suggested occupation on any fucking career assessment I took.
19.
My 5-year-old asked me what a poop hole does. After an impromptu lesson on the digestive system, I realized he actually said “pupil.” Next lesson: Enunciation
20.
I just gave the kids extra credit for helping carry my wine from the car to the house. Shutup, I'm the teacher now and it's fine. Everything's fine.
21.
I just yelled, “1, 2, 3 mommy is lava!” and my kids ran away, leaving me to drink my coffee in peace. I’m pretty sure I’ve peaked for the day.