We rounded up some of the funniest recent mom tweets we could find, and they made us laugh and relate so hard:
1.
Anyone have the cheat codes to parenting a 3-year-old? This level is hard
2.
My daughter has been home from school for 30 minutes. She’s been talking for 40 of them.
3.
Ice cream employee: I didn't know you had kids! You always come in by yourself. Kids: WHAT?! MOM! It's like she didn't want a tip.
4.
when my four year old asked “mommy does a snowman have 3 balls?” I realized my biggest problem is im just not, nor will i ever be, mature enough to have kids
5.
NO ONE RUNS FASTER THEN A TODDLER HOLDING SOMETHING THEY SHOULDN’T😬😬😬😬
6.
Welcome to parenthood. The word “poop” now appears on your glass shower door when it fogs up.
7.
None of the parenting books prepared me for my teen asking me what “the carpet matches the drapes” means.
8.
where do babies come from? seriously. i have no clue how they keep getting in the house.
9.
My 5 yo decided to count to 1000 in his head. It was the most peace I have had in years.
10.
6 yo : I can't get out of bed. Me : Why not? 6yo : Because I'm awake, but my hair is still asleep.
11.
“That seems like a you problem” was my favorite comeback until my 5 yo said it to me
12.
*son comes into my room* Him: Hi, Mom! My favorite parent. You look so young! Me: Ok. What do you want to buy? Him: A new skateboard. Me: How young? Him: 29 Me: Get my wallet.
13.
my 2 yo was losing his mind because his legs were gone. turns out, this just means he’s not wearing pants.
14.
great now my kids think they come from billboards in the woods
15.
- dinner - Kid 1: finishes in 18.4 seconds Kid 2: finishes in 34.7 seconds Kid 3: finishes in 5 hours 29 minutes
16.
My toddler threw a clipboard at me. This is no way for a boss to treat an unpaid intern.
17.
I'm always shocked how I can't keep a house plant alive but I have 2 kids.
18.
5yo: Mom, what does C P X A R Q Y T M spell? Me: I don’t think that spells anything, sweetie. 5: Ok. I thought you said you could read. Me:
19.
We have a no phones at the dinner table rule for the kids with one exception... to google something to prove their father wrong.
20.
7: Mommy that ring is so pretty! Me: Thanks sweety, it’ll be yours one day 7: WHEN?! Me: After I die, all my jewelry will go to you 7: Yay, I can’t wait!! Me:
21.
Me: time to get out of bed sweetie 4: THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER
22.
Since my son knows everything what should I ask him?
23.
“I just kinda forget what’s going on in the world and focus on having fun” - an 8yo giving me better advice than my therapist
24.
“Mom’s wearing a shirt, I’m wearing a shirt, my doll’s wearing a shirt.” -Our 3YO, passive-aggressively telling my husband to put on a shirt.
25.
My 4yo just realized he could raise both his eyebrows at the same time He now does it every time he makes eye contact with me and it looks like we are in cahoots orchestrating the most diabolical plan ever