32 Pregnant Women Whose Partners Committed Some Hilarious Fails While They Were Giving Birth
"I was mid-contraction when my husband said, 'I know this isn't a good time, but what's the password for the computer login?'"
Well, here are some of the most memorable responses, plus a few new ones from readers in the comments, that will make you laugh, cringe, and facepalm like crazy:
1. "I was in the midst of intense back-to-back contractions when my husband said, 'Hey, I know this is not a good time, but what's the password for the computer login?'"
2. "My first labor went so smoothly that my partner was able to catch our daughter when she was born. So naturally, he wanted to try it again when I had our second kid. However, this time the baby got stuck coming out, so the doctor had to do an episiotomy. They told my partner not to look. He looked. And then promptly hit the deck."
"To this day, 11 years later, he describes the birth of our daughter as 'like that scene in Alien when the thing bursts out of the guy's chest.'"
3. "I had just finished getting stitches when my husband turned around and said, 'You have no idea how much my balls hurt from these tight jeans.'"
—Ashling Shanahan-Quinsee, Facebook
4. "When I was pregnant with my third kid, my water broke in the middle of the night. And my son's father hurried to the hospital...without me."
5. "When the doctor took out the needle for my epidural, my husband exclaimed, 'Oh my God — that thing is HUGE!' I remind him of that every once in a while to get my way."
6. "I was in labor with twins, and my husband and I were trying to get some sleep. Well, my husband had been asleep for 15 minutes when the nurse checked me and found that one of the babies was on their way. I woke my husband up, and told him it was time, and he said, 'Time for what?'"
—Jena Leigh, Facebook
7. "While discussing the different positions I could deliver in with my nurse, my husband asked if I could deliver 'doggy style.'"
8. "I was in the sweatiest moments of labor with my first child, so the nurse pointed my partner to a cool washcloth to wipe the sweat from my face. So he picked up the washcloth, folded it, then dabbed gently at my forehead like they do in the movies..."
"I yelled, 'GIVE ME THAT!' and snatched it from him to wipe my own forehead. Then I threw it back at him and said, 'This is real life!'"
9. "When my husband held our son for the first time, he looked up at me, and — between sobs of happiness — exclaimed, 'He looks like a xenomorph!'"
—Haley Johnson, Facebook
10. "My husband was incredibly helpful during my labor and delivery, except for when he was counting while I pushed and thought it would be funny to go, '7, 8, 9...9 and a haaaaaaalf...' When I screamed that I was going to punch him, the poor guy instantly regretted trying to lighten the mood."
11. "After I delivered the placenta, the doctor held it up and my husband said, 'Cool — we can make fajitas with that!' Apparently, he didn't understand that eating your placenta meant in capsule form. My doula and I couldn't stop laughing."
12. "My husband is a hog farmer. So as I was giving birth to our son, he said, 'Wow, this isn't so bad — it's just like a sow giving birth.'"
13. "I was already at the hospital when my water broke, so I asked my husband to press the call button on the bed to let the nurses know. Well, instead, he accidentally pressed the 'code' button on the wall — and all of a sudden about 10 doctors and nurses came scrambling into the room..."
14. "When I was born, my parents had a camera that required a roll of film. Well, my father was glowing with so much pride that he spent the whole night and most of the next morning taking pictures of me and my mom...until he realized there was no film in the camera. Whoops."
15. "I was an hour and a half into pushing when my ex said, 'Whoa, it looks like you're blowing a bubble!'"
16. "After my baby was out, the doctor told my husband to tell me the sex of our baby. He yelled, 'It's a boy!' The doctor replied, 'Try again.' Apparently, the swelling and the umbilical cord confused him."
17. "After giving birth to our son, the doctor inserted his arm into my vagina to help remove the placenta, and my husband said, 'Please don't do that, Doc. There's no way I can compete with that.'"
18. "I had my second son in the front seat of our car on our way to the hospital. We happened to stop outside of a strip joint, and my husband took off his shirt to cover me and the baby before trying to get help..."
"So there he was, running around outside the car, waving his arms trying to flag down cars to help — shirtless...in front of a strip joint."
—Jonquil Garrick, Facebook
19. "During labor with my oldest child, my husband was holding one of my feet. Well, since I was numb from the epidural, I couldn't feel him accidentally twisting my foot. Turns out, he twisted it so much he gave me a sprained ankle!"
20. "I was pushing and everyone was encouraging me, and my husband accidentally said, 'Let's go, Jesco!' Jesco is our dog's name. He called me by our dog's name."
21. "My dad fainted when my mother was in labor with me, and 20 years later, he came to the delivery room just after I gave birth to my daughter and fainted again. Well, he wasn't at the hospital for the birth of my second daughter, so when he came to meet her two weeks later, we assumed he'd be fine this time. Nope."
22. "At my second child's birth, my midwife let my husband catch our daughter. Well, once her shoulders were out, she started coming faster than he anticipated. So the first words my little one heard was her father's — 'OH SHIT!'"
23. "The doctor put my newborn baby daughter on my chest to meet me, and my significant other suddenly screamed, 'DON'T TOUCH IT!', causing the nurses to stare at him in horror. When I asked why he did that, he said, 'She just looked so gross I didn't know what else to say.'"
24. "My husband had celebrated his birthday with a few drinks the night before our daughter's early appearance, and he spent my labor slumped in a chair..."
"Well, when I started to crown, the midwife encouraged him to get up and come look at our daughter's head emerging. He did...and promptly threw up all over me as I pushed our baby out."
25. "A horrendous back contraction ripped through me, and my wife looked at the feed measuring my contractions and said, 'Huh, that's not even a bad one.'"
26. "My husband took a picture of my placenta and sent it to all his friends, telling them to 'Have a placenta day!'"
—Christine Tomaso-Mason, Facebook
27. "The nurse had me do some practice pushes before the doctor came in to deliver my baby. Well, my husband was 'practice pushing' with me, and all that pushing made him have to poop really badly. But right when he started, the baby's head came out, so he had to stop..."
"That said, the first 45 minutes of the 'Golden Hour' you are supposed to spend bonding right after your baby is born was spent with him in the bathroom pooping."
28. "My husband was wearing scrubs for my C-section, and they were one size fits all. Well, he's a bit on the stocky side, so as soon as he came in the room and went to sit next to me, his pants ripped open!"
29. "During the birth of our first child, the nurse told my husband to grab one of my legs and brace me for each push since I'd had an epidural and couldn't move my legs anymore. Well, when the nurse said, ‘Push!’ my husband shoved my leg as hard as he could and whacked me in the chin with my own knee! Apparently, he thought the ‘Push!’ was meant for him."
"I didn’t let him touch me during the birth of our next two kids.
—Victoria Olson, Facebook
30. "I was 10 centimeters dilated, in full-on labor, with a worn-off epidural, when my husband very seriously said, 'Wow, this stool is so uncomfortable!' I almost punched him."
31. "Our doctor wasn't there yet, so my husband squatted down between my legs and yelled, 'Blue 42! Hut, hut, HIKE!'"
32. "I had labored for 10 hours — including three hours of pushing — before my son was finally born. Well, at the end of the night, my husband emphatically said, 'Man, I need to sit down, I'm tired!' Really? Had a rough day, did you?!"
What about you? Did your partner do something hilarious or cringeworthy while you were giving birth? Tell us about it in the comments below, and you could be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed post!
Some responses were edited for length and clarity.