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23 True Confessions From Married Women That'll Make You Say, "Just Whoa."

To have and to withhold?

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We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the secret they'd never tell their husband or partner, and the responses range from the 'omg' to the 'O.M.F.G.':

1. "When we were first dating, I drunk texted my (now) husband asking him to come over for a booty call. Before he could respond, I texted 'nevermind.' To this day, he says that moment of 'playing hard to get' was the moment he knew I was the one he wanted to be with. But he doesn't know that I said 'nevermind' because I had actually sent the same text to two other guys, and another one replied first."

—Anonymous
Lifetime

Anonymous

2. "That his favorite meal that I cook...is from the restaurant down the street."

—karinap4a90ae77a

3. "That I hate my engagement and wedding rings."

"He put so much effort into designing them, and even incorporated my lucky numbers, but I just can't stand them."—rebeccam4e04c2006
CBC

"He put so much effort into designing them, and even incorporated my lucky numbers, but I just can't stand them."

rebeccam4e04c2006

4. "My husband doesn't know that I actually watch porn and masturbate more often than he does — sometimes even right next to him while he sleeps!"

—Anonymous
Universal Pictures

—Anonymous

5. "That I once faked a family emergency and instead went to Dairy Queen to get ice cream and hide from the kids."

—jessalynn2
Vh1

6. "When my husband and I have a fight and aren't speaking, I secretly turn off the wifi so that he is forced to come downstairs and talk to me."

Open Road Films

7. "Sometimes I'll secretly watch something by myself that I was supposed to watch with my husband later because I want to watch it without having to cuddle or share my snacks."

—Anonymous
Spike Tv

Anonymous

8. "That it doesn't really hurt to keep sex going after I orgasm like I tell him it does...I'm just over it by that point."

—annap452b9c5af

9. "That I keep a list of the hilarious things he says in his sleep."

"My favorite is 'If I make the first smearing, it will be weird, because it was made for a woman.'"—Anonymous
Fox

"My favorite is 'If I make the first smearing, it will be weird, because it was made for a woman.'"

—Anonymous

10. "I once hired a cleaning crew to clean our house and took the credit for it."

—Anonymous
Fox

—Anonymous

11. "Sometimes I put on makeup, do my hair, and get dressed, and then watch ASMR videos of men eating and pretend I'm on a date."

NBC

12. "I'm the one who changes the sheets, and I almost always put the cheaper pillowcases on my husband's pillows, while I get the luxurious ones."

ABC

13. "That I pluck my nose hair."

—georgyl
CBS

georgyl

14. "How many people I actually slept with before him."

NBC

15. "My husband is very irresponsible with money, so when we need to save for something, I lie and tell him we have less than we actually do, so that he doesn't know the money is there to spend."

16. "When my in-laws come into town, I pretend I have to go into the office, so I don't have to see them."

17. "Sometimes I call him and tell him my texts aren't sending, just to have an excuse to hear his voice."

MTV

18. "Sometimes I buy an Amazon gift card from the grocery store so that the money I spend counts towards groceries, even though I use it to buy music or clothes."

TvLand

huh448

19. "My husband thinks I'm a much heavier sleeper than I am. If the dog gets restless in the middle of the night, I lie perfectly still until he gets up to take her outside, then I pretend in the morning that I didn't hear her."

Netflix

20. "That when we first met, I only slept with him to help my best friend get closer to his brother. But hey — we ended up together!"

—gretcheno3
OWN

21. "That I'm a ghostwriter for a famous newspaper columnist."

—mrsalmario
Universal

22. "We went on a vegan diet together and he was really committed. But I always cheated on my lunch break and told him I ate a salad."

Paramount Studios

23. "One day, my husband came home in a terrible mood, looking for his leftover pizza. But I had thrown it out already earlier in the day. So I waited until he went out to walk the dog, then I took it out of the trash and put it on a plate for him. He ate every bite."

TvLand

"It was a BRAND NEW trash bag, and the pizza was the ONLY thing in there. But I didn’t want to make his terrible day worse so I fed him trashcan pizza. IT WAS OUT OF LOVE, PEOPLE!"

Anonymous

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Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.

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