1. This kid, who may have made the most adorable text fail ever:

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2. This kid, whose real-time updates are realer than yours:

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3. This kid, whose comedic sense is way beyond her years:

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4. This kid, who has no interest in your small talk:

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5. This kid, who wants you to know they have standards:

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6. This kid, who knows how to get your attention:

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7. And this kid, who never promised you maturity:

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8. This kid, who's not afraid to play the mom guilt card:

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9. This kid, who is extremely direct:

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10. This kid, who is having the crisis of all crises:

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11. This kid, who's really, really hungry:

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12. This kid, who — bless their heart — woke up a little worried:

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13. And this kid, who gives the most millennial kid compliments ever texted:

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14. This kid, who knows how to find common ground with their parents:

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15. This kid, who takes money matters into their own hands:

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16. This kid, who just wants you to know they're not slacking off:

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17. And this kid, whose threats are totally and completely empty:

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