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    Posted on Sep 22, 2016

    21 Things You'll Only Get If You're From A Hot Country And Live In Scotland

    You'll never take summer for granted again.

    1. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, you refuse to accept that midges can be as bad as mosquitoes.

    2. You expect a sparkling loch on a boiling hot day to feel as inviting as it looks.

    Flickr: alfmelin / Creative Commons

    Then you jump in and discover that it’s so bloody icy that you feel like you've been winded and/or rendered infertile.

    3. And your first swim in a public pool freaks you out because it’s got a roof and smells like a chemistry lab.

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    On the plus side, if you do manage to get used to the smell, for the first time in your life you’ll be one of the strongest swimmers.

    4. You still expect to find huge, fuck-off insects lurking behind every picture, and in every corner.

    pixabay.com

    You feel like a superhero every time you take a picture off a wall, despite the fact you know there won't be anything poisonous or bitey behind it.

    5. And it's a revelation to find that you can skip around in the countryside without a care in the world.

    6. Your new Scottish friends expect you to be the one who rescues spiders from the bath.

    7. You miss the smell of rain on hot earth so much it hurts.

    8. And the rain reduces you to tears for other reasons too.

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    You used to think you could wait indoors until the rain stopped. Then everyone laughed, and you realised if you took this approach you'd never go outside.

    9. You relate far too hard to animals from hot countries in cold Scottish zoos.

    10. But it's a thrill to meet real Scottish wildlife that you've only seen on postcards in the past.

    11. And you actually get to play with snow on a regular basis.

    12. You also discover how heartbreakingly beautiful Scotland can be in winter.

    geograph.org.uk / Creative Commons

    Especially when the Christmas bling comes out, and you've had a sip of mulled wine. It actually looks like the Christmasses you saw on TV as a kid.

    13. You used to think that a few more layers of your normal clothing was all you needed in winter.

    MGM / Giphy

    But you soon found out that for that to work, you'd have to get so layered up that you wouldn't be able to walk, move, or touch your toes.

    14. And you truly appreciate duvets for the first time in your life.

    15. But the cold isn't the worst thing; it's the wind that really pisses you off.

    16. You think icy ground looks really pretty from a distance.

    Flickr: rkramer62 / Creative Commons

    Then you slip on it, hurt your knees, destroy your dignity, and, like generations of Scots before you, write a furious letter to the council about the lack of road gritters. How does ice manage to catch them out every year? FFS.

    17. You spend so long in botanical gardens' hot houses that people start thinking you work there.

    18. Your relatives don't believe you about the weather.

    19. You get a bit addicted to ceilidhs.

    Flickr: barneymoss / Creative Commons

    "Ah, so this is how people keep warm in Scotland."

    20. You also learn the joys of a cosy pub on a cold day.

    21. And you finally realise that you've fallen deeply and completely in love with your adoptive home.

    Flickr: aigle_dore / Creative Commons

    It would be nice if the fucking wind could give it a rest though.

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