back to top

7 Feelings You Have While Finding & Carving A Pumpkin

Those damn seeds.

Posted on

1. Anticipation

Today is the day. Donning one of your twelve plaid shirts - the red one because it will be a good compliment to the pumpkins - you set forth on your trek to the land of the gourd. You drive whilst humming the creepy witch song from Hocus Pocus while your fellow plaid-clad friend waves their hand out the window in the excited, autumn breeze. It's pumpkin-hunting time.

2. Confused

What happened to the fun hayride you used to take to the patch? Why doesn't the air smell like hot apple cider? After pulling a discarded Capri Sun off your boot (children are not environmentally aware), you throw your hands to the sky like that weird emoji dude, and say "what the hell?!?" And why are pumpkins so ugly? And dirty. And deformed. Whole Foods must hire pro-pumpkin pickers to fill those bins outside of their store. What a boring job.

3. Vain

You found a pumpkin that is at least semi-attractive. A 6 on a 10-point scale. And you're already here so ... well, who are we kidding? You came here for the 'gram. You carefully position the pumpkin to hide the unappealing dent on its left side and you ask a nearby family to take a photo of you and your friend. At this point, you've also identified the Capri Sun culprit and made a mental note that although you thought you might be into fanny packs again ... you're not. You're definitely not.

4. Crafty

Twenty-seven likes on Instagram later, you switch over to another social platform, the almighty Pinterest, to find your pumpkin carving design. Or should you paint the pumpkin? Lauren Conrad painted hers. No, no carving is a classic. You decide on a cute, simple design of a beautiful beach scene complete with a fruity drink. TALK ABOUT A TREAT, amiright?

5. Ew

I don't know if "ew" counts as a feeling, but it is literally the only thing you can think when you stick your hand into that pumpkin and pull out the seeds. You can't believe people spend their time soaking, seasoning and roasting these mush-suspended monsters. You add "removing pumpkin mush/seeds yourself" to your list of why being an adult is hard. You're a millennial. You can have a list like this.

6. Jealous

Are bloggers all liars? How do their pumpkins look so perfect? She told you this beach pumpkin would take less than 30 minutes to carve and would be the "perfect punch of festivity to my autumn decor." No, ma'am. Pumpkin carving is HARD. An hour and 40 minutes later, you're three pumpkin beers deep and suffering from carpal tunnel. You feel like a disappointed 3rd grader when your bae asks you if your beach pumpkin is some kind of abstract design. Thanks for nothing, Martha.

7. Tipsy

Four pumpkin beers deep. Your pumpkin looks AMAZING on your porch. You love autumn so much. It's so fun. It's so, so fun. And if those little teen pranksters smash your creation ... wait, you lost your train of thought. Fall is great.

This post was created by a member of BuzzFeed Community, where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!