Has “All Lives Matter” throw pillows.
Dates his students and is a prolific writer of historical erotica.
Has been banned from all five Chuck E. Cheeses in the greater Portland area.
Slayin’ it on Tinder in stark defiance of Amish law.
Is Bernie Sanders.
People disappear off his fishing boat literally all the time.
Has a whole fridge just for hooker bones.
Poisoned four husbands.
Is the Burger King.
- The Women's March on Washington was one of the largest protests in the city's history.
- Trump's spokesman held a press conference to blame grass coverings for "minimizing" the crowd at the inauguration 🤔
- Members of the national security community reacted with shock after Trump attacked his critics while giving a speech at CIA headquarters.
- "SNL" featured a shirtless Vladimir Putin celebrating America's newest President.