What Florida Cities Actually Mean

Let's be honest.

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Alachua: Gainesville, basically

Altamonte Springs: "The eyesore on I-4"

Anna Maria: Population: >1,000

Apopka: "Indoor Foliage Capital of the World"

Aventura: So many fancy stores in that mall

Boca Raton: Rich Jewish grandmas

Bonita Springs: Hope you like housing developments and golf!

Boynton Beach: AKA Palm Beach

Cape Canaveral: You definitely went on a field trip here

Cape Coral: Buy a house for less than your lunch

Celebration: Kind of creepy TBH

Clearwater: Scientology HQ

Cocoa Beach: That exit you take off I-95 to get to UCF

Coconut Creek: Butterfly World!

Coral Gables: * parks next to car worth more than my life *

Dania Beach: That Boomers wooden roller coaster cannot be safe

Davie: Home to Sparez, the only nice bowling alley within 50 miles

Daytona Beach: Motorcycles and NASCAR

Deerfield Beach: You probably came here to surf that one time in high school

Fort Lauderdale: It's like 3000 miles wide and 5000 miles long

Fort Myers: * Lincoln Town Car going 30 MPH in the left lane *

Fort Myers Beach: SPRIIIIIIIING BREAAAAAK!!!! * does keg stand at Lani Kai *

Gainesville: Orange and blue, Tim Tebow worshipers, rednecks, Cafe Risqué

Hialeah: Where your driving skills are truly tested

Hollywood: I'm bored so I guess we should roam around Seminole Hard Rock

Homestead: Empty baseball stadium

Jacksonville: Home to the worst football team in Florida (and that's saying something)

Kendall: Santa's Enchanted Forest

Key Biscayne: Let's get wasted on a boat at the Columbus Day Regatta

Key West: Come celebrate Ernest Hemingway's grand literary tradition of extreme drunkenness

Kissimmee: That place you pass on the way to Disney from SoFla

LaBelle: All cars required by law to have confederate flag bumper stickers

Lake Mary: I tell people who don't live in Florida that I'm from Orlando

Marco Island: How long before an old rich white guy just buys the whole island

Miami: Is the Palmetto still under construction? 1% of UM fans actually went to UM.

Miami Beach: 85% normal, 15% art deco & cocaine. Also, Collins Ave.

Miramar: "Johnny Depp went to Miramar High!"

Naples: Ooooh soft white sand

Ocala: mini Gainesville, oranges

Okeechobee: There's a big lake

Orlando: DISNEY, UNIVERSAL, ETC ETC ETC

Panama City Beach: Drunk college kids make poor life decisions on spring break

Pembroke Pines: Saturday night? Our options are Pembroke Gardens, Muvico, or Walmart.

Pensacola: That city in the panhandle

Pinecrest: I tell people who don't live in Florida that I'm from Miami

Plant City: Strawberries for days

Plantation: Broward mall

Port St. Lucie: About halfway between Miami and Orlando

St. Augustine: The oldest city in Florida

St. Cloud: Still have KKK meetings

Sanibel: seafood, rich people, expensive baby stores, shell shops

Sarasota: "My grandparents have a condo in --" "Sarasota?" "Yeah, how'd you know?"

Tallahassee: Garnet and gold, Jameis Winston worshipers, the Capitol building shaped like a penis

Tampa: Strip clubs

Titusville: It's pronounced "tite-us-ville," not "tit-us-ville."

West Palm Beach: Rapids and Lion Country Safari

Weston: Rich people who live off the Royal Palm exit

Winter Park: I tell people who don't live in Florida that I'm from Orlando

Did we miss a city? Add yours!