1. “This is why I should live in Japan. This hologram understands me.”
Oh, OK, sure. One of Gaga’s opening acts was Hatsune Miku, a hologram portrayed as a 16-year-old girl with turquoise pigtails. Yes, she is literally a hologram and her name means “first sound from the future.” Rocking out to a cyber celeb IRL is weird, but fun I guess?
2. “Wait, did she just…”
Jump on top of a guy and straddle him? Yeah. This show is actually less raunchy than 2009’s stunt-filled Monster Ball tour. (On that one, I vaguely remember her rubbing a guy’s nipples with her heels and saying something about blowjobs?)
4. “Dat ass.”
It’s worth noting that the stage for Gaga’s show has several runways that extend throughout the crowd. And those runways are made of clear plexi-glass. Do the math —the equation adds up to a lot of butt shots. In New York, Gaga shouted: “Don’t you know my ass is famous!?”
5. “Her piano skills are so underrated.”
If you’ve ever been to a Lady Gaga concert, you know she’s absolutely killer on the piano. Her singing and playing are sometimes overshadowed by her outrageous costumes and the overall spectacle, but Gaga on the piano shows how gifted she actually is.
6. “Of course.”
Per usual, Gaga talked about her love and support of the LGBT community and everyone cried and cheered.
7. “I can’t stop crying. It’s so beau—wait, why is T.I. rapping?”
Gaga did an acoustic, heartfelt rendition of “Born This Way” and then in the blink of an eye, girl is on her feet singing “Jewels & Drugs” with T.I. It was such a sudden change of pace, but everyone screamed, “YAASS” so it’s fine.
8. “Yes, you slay, you fucking slay!”
9. “I am sobbing. I am emotional.”
Right before “Sexxx Dreams,” Gaga laid on a couch and started reading fan letters out loud that were thrown on the stage. She then invited the fans to go backstage after the show. Needless to say, many tears were shed.
10. “Art pop! Art pop! ART POP! ART POP! artpopartpop! Art pop!”
At this time, I’d like to apologize to the coworkers who sit closest to me. I know I keep saying “artpop” randomly, under my breath and that’s it’s very annoying. But I can’t stop. It’s been days since the concert and I’m still saying it. (ArtPop.)
11. Whoa, is she naked?!
Uh huh. That is her birthday suits, folks. I’m honestly surprised she did an on-stage costume change before Miley Cyrus.
12. “Don’t think, just drink. Conceal, don’t feel.”
Must have been because of these Frozen-esque ice rocks. Also, there was a bar on stage with Absolut cocktails named after Lady Gaga. Welcome to the future, people. And by future I mean conveniently-placed bars.
14. “Wait, are you serious? Are you fucking serious?”
Said a fan being kicked out by security. Little Monsters are too rowdy I guess?
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