1. Some people think Colombia is beautiful.
2. I have no idea what they're talking about.
3. Their churches? Mediocre.
4. Their UNDERGROUND churches? Even more mediocre.
5. The graffiti looks like a 5th grader drew it.
6. I mean, I could definitely do this with my eyes closed.
7. Their waterfalls? Overrated.
8. Their beaches? Who cares?
9. Don't even get me started on their colorful rivers.
10. The El Peñón rock isn't even that impressive.
11. And the view from the top is nothing special.
12. The town of Guatapé is kind of colorful, but not really.
13. Who even enjoys color?
14. Jericó isn't charming in the least.
15. And the view of the town from the top of the hill is just OK.
16. Who cares if Colombia is known for the "best" coffee in the world?
17. And what is so appetizing about arepas con queso?
18. Jardín? Meh.
19. The Lost City? Not interesting at all.
20. Bogotá is just another episode of Narcos.
21. And so is Medellín.
Why would you ever visit Colombia?
Obviously this is satire and you should 100% visit Colombia. Below are more links you might enjoy.
31 Things I Learned From Living In Medellín, Colombia, For A Month
Here's Why You Must Visit Jericó, Colombia, In Your Lifetime
Arielle Calderon is a writer temporarily based in Latin America participating in Remote Year. If you have any tips on cool places, events, or things to eat in Mexico City, email her at arielle.calderon@buzzfeed.com or DM her on Instagram.