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Posted on Dec 25, 2014

25 Times Kevin McAllister Legit Killed People In The "Home Alone" Movies

"Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal." —A VERY DISTURBING CHILD, TBQH.

Chances are if you've seen Home Alone (1+2) you loved it, because John Hughes and duh, but the biggest problem is that Kevin is basically a murderer. There is no way Marv and Harry could've survived his antics.

20th Century Fox
20th Century Fox

Here's a list of all the times Kevin definitely 100% killed the burglar duo.

1. When Kevin shoots Harry in the balls and basically kills him.

20th Century Fox

Dead.

2. And when he shoots Marv in the head with some sort of gun.

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I don't even know what kind of gun that is, but he's definitely dead.

3. When Kevin sets up a trap for Marv to slip on the stairs and die.

20th Century Fox

Dead.

4. And does the same to Harry because his goal is to kill multiple burglars.

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Basically dead.

5. When Kevin drops a heavy iron 12 feet and cracks Marv’s skull.

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Clearly dead.

6. When he burns this guy's head.

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Very dead.

7. When Marv STEPS ON A NAIL from Kevin's contraption.

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Dead from shock and pain.

8. When Kevin permanently brands Harry with an "M" symbol.

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Pretty much dead.

9. When this guy steps on broken ornaments and destroys his feet.

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Dead.

10. When Kevin clearly kills them both, maybe.

20th Century Fox

Bye, they're dead.

11. When Kevin leaves a pile of toy cars for the pair to slip on, fall, and essentially die.

20th Century Fox

RIP.

12. When Kevin kills Marv via panic attack.

20th Century Fox

We are all dead, tbh.

13. When Kevin cuts the rope and brings these men to their demise.

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Double dead.

14. When Kevin throws roughly 800* bricks with pinpoint accuracy at Marv's head from a six-story building.

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*Four, but he's literally dead. Lost his memory. Got a concussion.

15. And when he's hit with a nail gun three times: once in the groin, once in the face, and once in the ass.

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Bye, dead.

16. When Harry is hit in the head with a bunch of heavy, dangerous tools.

20th Century Fox

"If you could take my pulse right now it would feel just like... I got hit in the head with a sledgehammer." #dead

17. When Marv finally gets in the house and then falls face-first onto the concrete floor.

20th Century Fox

It was nice knowing you.

18. When Harry falls for a goo trap and most likely breaks his back.

20th Century Fox

We should really call an ambulance...

19. And when Marv also slips on a pile of goo and has 1,000 gallons of paint crush his body.

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Like, why doesn't Kevin just call the cops by now??

20. When Harry's head is set on fire (again) and he does some acrobatics to get rid of it, but dips his head in flammable liquid and blows up the house.

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Very very very very very dead.

21. When Marv is attacked by a giant bag that weighs 100 lbs.

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Not really dead but in a whole lot of pain.

22. When the pair are hit directly in the face with some massive heavy thing, and then fall a couple floors, and then are hit again by the big heavy thing.

20th Century Fox

We should start digging the grave.

23. When Kevin soaked the rope in kerosene and then lit it on fire while the burglars were climbing it.

20th Century Fox

They also fell, like, six stories, so they are most definitely dead.

24. When the duo get eaten alive by pigeons.

20th Century Fox

Death by some Alfred Hitchcock shit.

25. AND FINALLY, WHEN MARV TURNED INTO A SKELETON AND 100% DIED.

20th Century Fox

LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME HE DIDN'T DIE???

But the best part, despite all the torture these men have been through, is Kevin's (almost) downfall was just from slipping on ice.

20th Century Fox

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So the question is, should we be more concerned that his parents left him home (twice), or that Kevin is some sociopathic, murderous genius?

🏠👱💥🔥💣🎄

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