Cringe cringe cringe!
"I remember once I auditioned for a Scottish character and about halfway through the audition I just said to the director, 'I'm just going to stop there,' and he said, 'Yeah that's OK, thank you.' My accent was so bad, I sounded like I was on something. You've got to hold up your hand as an actor and say sometimes there's just some accents and characters you cannot do. I doubt I'll ever play a Scottish person."
"I absolutely hate auditions! I had a dreadful audition for a play once. It was touring the world, it was on Broadway and everywhere, but I didn't get it obviously. (laughs) I was so embarrassed, I wasn't prepared for it. They sent me two pages of the script and when I got there, there was 30 pages of script. I was like, 'Where's the rest of this?' but my agent hadn't received them because her fax machine had broken down. There were 30-plus producers in there from Australia, New York, all over. It was dreadful."
"I don't know if I want to go there! (laughs) I used to go up for quite a few commercials, but I've since decided not to bother because they're like cattle calls. They have, like, 10,000 people in and they're looking for whatever it is they're looking for. They can usually end up being very embarrassing because you're in a back room and you have to throw a fit or start stacking shelves while hopping on one leg; it's like charades! You have to be in the mood for that."
"I can't sing, and I was asked to audition for a very successful musical, which you all will know but will remain nameless, for one of the lead roles. They were really insistent on seeing me because they wanted actors to come in for this specific part. They cast musical people for all the rest but they wanted this one part to be an actor who can sing, and I can't sing! I was like, 'I can't go for this audition!' and the casting director said, 'Honestly, it's really chill and they really like you, it's going to be you, a director, and the piano — it's fine.' I go down and there was a panel of nine people and a grand piano and I had to sing and the musical director just instantly stopped and said, 'No no no, you're out of key.' I was just like, 'OK...' (laughs) We tried that for a bit and they said, 'Thanks, Conor,' and I left! And then I tripped on my bag on the way out."
"I had to go out for this commercial where I was supposed to be — and this was all mimed — I was supposed to be a potter, and I was supposed to be throwing a pot on a wheel. At the same time, somebody handed me a chocolate bar, and I was supposed to take a bite of this chocolate bar and have a When Harry Met Sally moment. I can't tell you how embarrassing it was, how humiliating it was. I was thinking, I am never doing this again, this is the worst thing I've ever done in my life. Somebody told me they ended up not making the commercial."
"I had a really embarrassing meeting once, actually it's really embarrassing and I'm not going to tell you what happened, but I'll tell you a different story. I was in an audition and I was, not exactly bitching about somebody, but I was gossiping about somebody, and someone came into the room as I was halfway through the story and I was like, I can't pull out now, I can't just stop telling the story that would be a coward's way out, so I took a chance and I was continuing telling it. I got to the end and I was looking at him [the guy who walked in], and I was like, 'The person I'm talking about is a very good friend of yours, isn't he?' And he said, 'Yeah.' And then I had to do an audition with him."