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21 Truly Upsetting Vintage Recipes

Who's hungry?

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1. Tuna and Jell-o Pie

Golden Press / Via midcenturymenu.com
Golden Press / Via midcenturymenu.com

Also known as the Summer Salad Pie, which Betty Crocker's Dinner in a Dish Cookbook (1965) dubiously calls "pretty as can be."

Recipe here.

2. Ham and Bananas Hollandaise

Nope.Recipe here.
McCall's / Via vintagerecipecards.com

Nope.

Recipe here.

3. Hot Dog Fondue

Who knew hot dogs could be so customizable?
Betty Crocker / Via kitchenmonkey.blogspot.com

Who knew hot dogs could be so customizable?

4. Perfection Salad

Playing pretty fast and loose with the terms "perfection" and "salad."Recipe here.
McCall's / Via vintagerecipecards.com

Playing pretty fast and loose with the terms "perfection" and "salad."

Recipe here.

5. Frosted Ribbon Loaf

I don't care if the frosting is cream cheese-based, it still doesn't belong anywhere near "pretty layers of ham and egg filling."Recipe here.
Flickr: akbuthod / Creative Commons

I don't care if the frosting is cream cheese-based, it still doesn't belong anywhere near "pretty layers of ham and egg filling."

Recipe here.

6. Lobster Relish

Is it...is it alive? Recipe here.
Davis Gelatine / Via boingboing.net

Is it...is it alive?

Recipe here.

7. Jellied Tomato Refresher

Definitely too chunky to be refreshing.Recipe here.
Weight Watchers / Via weightwatchers1974.tumblr.com

Definitely too chunky to be refreshing.

Recipe here.

8. Atora Steak Puddings

These look like props from a murder movie.
Via pinterest.com

These look like props from a murder movie.

9. Lime Cheese Salad

The makings of a great meal: citrus, dairy, and a heap of "seafood salad."
Via fuckyeahvintagerecipes.tumblr.com

The makings of a great meal: citrus, dairy, and a heap of "seafood salad."

10. Liver Sausage Pineapple

Just imagine the horror of expecting something pineapple-flavored and instead getting a mix of liverwurst, mayo, and Worcestershire. IMAGINE.Recipe here.
Better Homes and Gardens / Via turkeysandwich.wordpress.com

Just imagine the horror of expecting something pineapple-flavored and instead getting a mix of liverwurst, mayo, and Worcestershire. IMAGINE.

Recipe here.

11. Super Salad Loaf

"...and pack into bologna shell."
Best Foods / Via vintage-recipes.livejournal.com

"...and pack into bologna shell."

12. Shrimp Sandwich Roll

Taking something that probably tastes pretty decent and making it look like a log of vomit.Recipe unavailable online, but found in here.
Pillsbury / Via pinterest.com

Taking something that probably tastes pretty decent and making it look like a log of vomit.

Recipe unavailable online, but found in here.

13. Frozen Cheese Salad

Seems like being on Weight Watchers in the '70s was kind of bummer, no?Recipe here.
Weight Watchers / Via weightwatchers1974.tumblr.com

Seems like being on Weight Watchers in the '70s was kind of bummer, no?

Recipe here.

14. Monterey Soufflé Salad

AGAIN with the fish/gelatin/citrus combo?
Flickr: 21233184@N02 / Creative Commons

AGAIN with the fish/gelatin/citrus combo?

15. Spam 'n' Limas

More like "AAAHHHHH! inspiring."
Via foodiggity.com

More like "AAAHHHHH! inspiring."

16. Banana Candle

This one comes from Be Bold With Bananas — which, admittedly, sounds like a must-read — but, guys. GUYS.
Crescent Books / Via fuckyeahvintagerecipes.tumblr.com

This one comes from Be Bold With Bananas — which, admittedly, sounds like a must-read — but, guys. GUYS.

17. Snowy Chicken Confetti Salad

What's most alarming about this one is the impossibility of actually locating the chicken.
Better Homes and Gardens / Via theteacupincident.typepad.com

What's most alarming about this one is the impossibility of actually locating the chicken.

18. Glazed Potato Salad

Can we just stop turning everything into loaves?
Best Foods / Via mentalfloss.com

Can we just stop turning everything into loaves?

19. Baked Stuffed Salmon

[Host places dish on table, beaming with pride.][Guests flee in tears.]Recipe here.
Curtin Publications, Inc. / Via vintagerecipecards.com

[Host places dish on table, beaming with pride.]

[Guests flee in tears.]

Recipe here.

20. Igloo Meat Loaf

OK, that's actually adorable. Recipe here.
Family Circle / Via rochellesvintagerecipes.blogspot.com

OK, that's actually adorable.

Recipe here.

21. ?????????

LOL BYE

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