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    Updated on Aug 21, 2020. Posted on Dec 30, 2014

    The 56 Worst Possible Times To Fart

    Our expert guide to cheese-cutting.

    by , , , ,
    Getty Images/iStockphoto Sarah_Cheriton

    1. On a date.

    2. In bed, while getting ~busy~.

    3. In an elevator with your boss.

    4. During a spray tan.

    5. During a bikini wax.

    6. While getting a dress tailored to your body.

    7. During confession with a priest.

    8. At the dentist.

    9. In an MRI chamber.

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    10. In a submarine, 260 fathoms under the sea.

    11. In a space shuttle, right as you're taking off.

    12. At the Grand Canyon, when you're with a companion, looking quietly over the majesty of it all, and contemplating life.

    13. At that spot in Grand Central Station where you can hear people's whispers from across the hall, but instead of whispering, you fart.

    14. While ghost hunting, with infrared cameras.

    15. Right after your crush asks you out.

    16. On your first day teaching middle school, in front of the class.

    17. On stage, during your big solo.

    18. At an altar when you're supposed to say I do, but the fart drowns it out and your fiance leaves you.

    19. On a horse or pony (rude).

    20. At a quiet cafe right after you tell the waiter, sternly, that you don't want any onions in your salad.

    Getty Images/iStockphoto Mirko Vuckovic

    21. The first time someone says "I love you" in a relationship.

    22. At a dinner party you're hosting, right as you present your guests with the beautiful cake you've labored over all day.

    23. During a speech in front of your entire class.

    24. During your final answer at the televised national spelling bee.

    25. In front of a blackboard or window, right after solving an important equation.

    26. While taking your driver's license test.

    27. At a job interview, right when you shake hands, so it could be a pull my finger gag but it isn't.

    28. In a doctor's office (as the doctor).

    29. In a doctor's office (as the patient).

    30. In an office bathroom stall after you just politely smiled at the coworker who was at the sink.

    31. In a sleeping bag.

    32. During a ghost story around a camp fire.

    33. When you're leaving gifts under the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve, because you're Santa, and little Timmy wakes up.

    Getty Images/iStockphoto ATIC12

    34. Right as you hold a newborn baby for the first time.

    35. Inside a winter coat, which you then unzip front of people and, well.

    36. On a ferris wheel and/or carousel, and you think you can smell it when you come back around.

    37. While you're having an argument with someone about the true definition of "ironic."

    38. In one of the those swan paddle boats with a lover.

    39. As you exit an elevator with one other person in it, then they stay on, and allow the people entering to think it's them.

    40. Right after you've sworn to tell the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help you god.

    41. In a pool, while someone is teaching you to back float.

    42. While meeting the president.

    43. While swearing in the president at her inauguration.

    44. At your own presidential inauguration, your whole nation eagerly watching.

    Getty Images/iStockphoto Lisa F. Young

    45. While having your glamour shots taken.

    46. While having your caricature drawn.

    47. While posing for a picture with Harry Styles.

    48. At a family member's death bed, where other family members are gathered in those last somber moments.

    49. During naked yoga.

    50. While sitting in a sauna, wherein the steam really enhances the scent.

    51. In the shower with a significant other (similar steam issue).

    52. During a jewel heist.

    53. While meeting Anna Wintour after landing the cover of the September issue.

    54. While dining in the dark at one of those "experience" restaurants.

    55. While boar-hunting with the royal family.

    56. Everywhere except on a toilet, in a single-person bathroom, and even then, the shame is palpable.

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