27 Bizarre Books You Won't Believe Actually Exist

*may be illegal

Get it from Amazon for $17.02, Barnes and Noble for $28.14, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

For people with strong sex drives hahahahah get it, cars.

Get it from Amazon for $47.56, Barnes and Noble for $10.60, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

You'll never be alone!

Get it from Amazon for $8.69, Barnes and Noble for $12.54, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

Bonus points if you use the skills from the previous book to craft a new cat out of cat hair.

Get it from Amazon for $10.89, Barnes and Noble for $11.29, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

Don't worry, if dogs are more your thing you can still get in on the fun.

Get it from Amazon for $17.61, Barnes and Noble for $13.95, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

And we haven't forgotten you, bunny lovers.

Get it from Amazon for $9.94, Barnes and Noble for $9.95, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

(Do not attempt with hand steamers.)

Get it from Amazon for $2.52 or Barnes and Noble for $11.10.

How lovely for them.

Get it from Amazon for $2 or Barnes and Noble for $14.95.

WELL???!?!

Get it from Amazon for $6.64, Barnes and Noble for $8.99, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

Could stand for a little less judgment in those scare quotes, LORRAINE.

Get it from Amazon for $4.30 or Barnes and Noble for $7.99.

A sentiment you don't hear enough. (Of notorious "Banana Candle" fame.)

Get it from Amazon here.

A pressing concern!!!

Get it from Amazon here or Barnes and Noble for $8.17.

"Yeah, I guess I'd say my main interests are reality television, urban gardening, and building coffins. Wait, don't go, they're FANCY coffins!!!!"

Get it from Amazon for $14.95, Barnes and Noble for $14.95, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

"Oh wait did I mention I also carve dildos out of wood?"

Get it from Amazon for $14.12, Barnes and Noble for $14.95, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

Oh thank goodness.

Get it from Amazon for $7.48, Barnes and Noble for $10.02, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

#same

Get it from Amazon for $3.13 or Barnes and Noble for $25.25.

Starting to notice an alarming theme.

Get it from Amazon for $15.95, Barnes and Noble for $15.95, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

For sure the sexiest of all folklore monsters.

Get it from Amazon for $9.99 or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

OH MY GOD GROSS MOM AND DAD, YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE.

Get it from Amazon for $4.79 or Barnes and Noble for $1.75.

Is that a joke book in your pocket or are you just happy to see me aaaahahahaha.

Get it from Amazon here.

Hold up, what did you just call me?

Get it from Amazon for $6.87, Barnes and Noble for $7.36, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

Eh.

Get it from Amazon for $9.67 or Barnes and Noble for $7.99.

Ladies! Don't be wasting that brain power on other, non-boob-related issues!

Get it from Amazon for $20.

I'm listening...

Get it from Amazon for $9.98, Barnes and Noble for $16.99, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

Do I believe that god is this old man with a white beard sitting up in some cloud? No. Do I think he's an all-powerful and omniscient being who communicates with us through domestic animals that are easily distracted by laser pens and cardboard boxes ? I mean, yeah, probably.

Get it from Amazon for $12.95 or Barnes and Noble for $9.99.

Finally.

Get it from Amazon for $6.99, Barnes and Noble for $6.99, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

Actually, this one seems on the up and up.

Get it from Amazon for $9.95 or Barnes and Noble for $12.