1. Yoga For Equestrians: A New Path For Achieving Union With The Horse*
*may be illegal
2. Carma Sutra: The Auto-Erotic Handbook
For people with strong sex drives hahahahah get it, cars.
3. Knit Your Own Cat
You'll never be alone!
4. Crafting With Cat Hair
Bonus points if you use the skills from the previous book to craft a new cat out of cat hair.
5. Knitting With Dog Hair
Don't worry, if dogs are more your thing you can still get in on the fun.
6. The Relaxed Rabbit: Massage For Your Pet Bunny
And we haven't forgotten you, bunny lovers.
7. Extreme Ironing
(Do not attempt with hand steamers.)
8. Old Tractors And The Men Who Love Them
How lovely for them.
9. If God Loves Me, Why Can't I Get My Locker Open?
WELL???!?!
10. If The Devil "Made" You Do It, You Blew It!
Could stand for a little less judgment in those scare quotes, LORRAINE.
11. Be Bold With Bananas
A sentiment you don't hear enough. (Of notorious "Banana Candle" fame.)
12. How To Avoid Huge Ships
A pressing concern!!!
13. Fancy Coffins To Make Yourself
"Yeah, I guess I'd say my main interests are reality television, urban gardening, and building coffins. Wait, don't go, they're FANCY coffins!!!!"
14. Make Your Own Sex Toys
"Oh wait did I mention I also carve dildos out of wood?"
15. The Beginner's Guide To Sex In The Afterlife
Oh thank goodness.
16. A Passion For Donkeys
#same
17. Learning To Play With A Lion's Testicles: Unexpected Gifts From The Animals Of Africa
Starting to notice an alarming theme.
18. Cum For Bigfoot, Volume One
For sure the sexiest of all folklore monsters.
19. The Best Dad Is A Good Lover
OH MY GOD GROSS MOM AND DAD, YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE.
20. The Pocket Book Of Boners
Is that a joke book in your pocket or are you just happy to see me aaaahahahaha.
21. My Darling, My Hamburger
Hold up, what did you just call me?
22. Who Cares About Elderly People?
Eh.
23. Natural Bust Enlargement With Total Mind Power
Ladies! Don't be wasting that brain power on other, non-boob-related issues!
24. Pet Goats & Pap Smears
I'm listening...
25. Does God Ever Speak Through Cats?
Do I believe that god is this old man with a white beard sitting up in some cloud? No. Do I think he's an all-powerful and omniscient being who communicates with us through domestic animals that are easily distracted by laser pens and cardboard boxes ? I mean, yeah, probably.
26. The Bible Cure For Irritable Bowel Syndrome
Finally.
27. Be Your Own Dick: Private Investigating Made Easy
Actually, this one seems on the up and up.
