27 Bizarre Books You Won't Believe Actually Exist

It takes all kinds.

Posted on May 12, 2014, 20:02 GMT

Arianna Rebolini

BuzzFeed Staff

1. *Yoga For Equestrians: A New Path For Achieving Union With The Horse**

*may be illegalGet it from Amazon for $17.02, Barnes and Noble for $28.14, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

2. Carma Sutra: The Auto-Erotic Handbook

For people with strong sex drives hahahahah get it, cars.Get it from Amazon for $47.56, Barnes and Noble for $10.60, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

3. Knit Your Own Cat

You'll never be alone!Get it from Amazon for $8.69, Barnes and Noble for $12.54, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

4. Crafting With Cat Hair

Bonus points if you use the skills from the previous book to craft a new cat out of cat hair.Get it from Amazon for $10.89, Barnes and Noble for $11.29, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

5. Knitting With Dog Hair

Don't worry, if dogs are more your thing you can still get in on the fun.Get it from Amazon for $17.61, Barnes and Noble for $13.95, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

6. The Relaxed Rabbit: Massage For Your Pet Bunny

And we haven't forgotten you, bunny lovers.Get it from Amazon for $9.94, Barnes and Noble for $9.95, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

7. Extreme Ironing

(Do not attempt with hand steamers.)Get it from Amazon for $2.52 or Barnes and Noble for $11.10.

8. Old Tractors And The Men Who Love Them

How lovely for them.Get it from Amazon for $2 or Barnes and Noble for $14.95.

9. If God Loves Me, Why Can't I Get My Locker Open?

WELL???!?!Get it from Amazon for $6.64, Barnes and Noble for $8.99, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

10. If The Devil "Made" You Do It, You Blew It!

Could stand for a little less judgment in those scare quotes, LORRAINE.Get it from Amazon for $4.30 or Barnes and Noble for $7.99.

11. Be Bold With Bananas

A sentiment you don't hear enough. (Of notorious "Banana Candle" fame.)Get it from Amazon here.

12. How To Avoid Huge Ships

A pressing concern!!!Get it from Amazon here or Barnes and Noble for $8.17.

13. Fancy Coffins To Make Yourself

"Yeah, I guess I'd say my main interests are reality television, urban gardening, and building coffins. Wait, don't go, they're FANCY coffins!!!!"Get it from Amazon for $14.95, Barnes and Noble for $14.95, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

14. Make Your Own Sex Toys

"Oh wait did I mention I also carve dildos out of wood?"Get it from Amazon for $14.12, Barnes and Noble for $14.95, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

15. The Beginner's Guide To Sex In The Afterlife

Oh thank goodness.Get it from Amazon for $7.48, Barnes and Noble for $10.02, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

16. A Passion For Donkeys

#sameGet it from Amazon for $3.13 or Barnes and Noble for $25.25.

17. Learning To Play With A Lion's Testicles: Unexpected Gifts From The Animals Of Africa

Starting to notice an alarming theme.Get it from Amazon for $15.95, Barnes and Noble for $15.95, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

18. Cum For Bigfoot, Volume One

For sure the sexiest of all folklore monsters.Get it from Amazon for $9.99 or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

19. The Best Dad Is A Good Lover

OH MY GOD GROSS MOM AND DAD, YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE.Get it from Amazon for $4.79 or Barnes and Noble for $1.75.

20. The Pocket Book Of Boners

Is that a joke book in your pocket or are you just happy to see me aaaahahahaha.Get it from Amazon here.

21. My Darling, My Hamburger

Hold up, what did you just call me?Get it from Amazon for $6.87, Barnes and Noble for $7.36, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

22. Who Cares About Elderly People?

Eh.Get it from Amazon for $9.67 or Barnes and Noble for $7.99.

23. Natural Bust Enlargement With Total Mind Power

Ladies! Don't be wasting that brain power on other, non-boob-related issues!Get it from Amazon for $20.

24. Pet Goats & Pap Smears

I'm listening...Get it from Amazon for $9.98, Barnes and Noble for $16.99, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

25. Does God Ever Speak Through Cats?

Do I believe that god is this old man with a white beard sitting up in some cloud? No. Do I think he's an all-powerful and omniscient being who communicates with us through domestic animals that are easily distracted by laser pens and cardboard boxes ? I mean, yeah, probably.Get it from Amazon for $12.95 or Barnes and Noble for $9.99.

26. The Bible Cure For Irritable Bowel Syndrome

Finally.Get it from Amazon for $6.99, Barnes and Noble for $6.99, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

27. Be Your Own Dick: Private Investigating Made Easy

Actually, this one seems on the up and up.Get it from Amazon for $9.95 or Barnes and Noble for $12.