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21 Topiary Designs That Will Haunt Your Dreams

Edward Scissorhands would be ashamed.

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1. The spiky pink avians trying to look busy

Flickr: llstalteri

Why they're so creepy: Spikes are inherently unsettling. If that weren't enough, these critters look like they're made of individual tentacles, so either the birds themselves or the beasts they're made of could jump atchya.

3. The urinating dog who is made of plant and peeing on a plant

Flickr: blahflowers

Why it's so creepy: More unsettling than the dog itself is the person who thought this would be hilarious; nobody likes a 12-year-old boy with garden shears.

4. The unknown quadruped looking concerned

Flickr: blahflowers

Why it's so creepy: This plant-creature is unidentifiable. Also, it seems to be locked out of the house, and that is a strange thing to have happen to you when you're a topiary.


9. The lurking alligators who are just gonna lurk there, don't you worry your pretty little head about it

Flickr: karen_roe

Why it's so creepy: If you're lurking, you're creepy. If you're lurking and blending in with the plant-life around you, you're very creepy.

10. The grimacing forest sprite wearing a brooch

Flickr: adombrowski

Why it's so creepy: It looks like this sprite is carrying a platter, and it looks like what's on that platter is very similar to what the sprite is made of, which is very suggestive of cannibalism.

12. The long-necked horse or the short-necked giraffe who really wishes you would put that camera down

Flickr: duelin_markers

Why it's so creepy: I don't know what you are, but I can tell that you are dissembling by disassembling and that frightens me.


13. The happy deer friends who are trying a little too hard to seem super happy, so it's gotten a little suspicious

Flickr: candy-s

Why it's so creepy: One of them has jumped and is now just levitating there. Levitating is wrong whether you're a deer or a topiary.


18. The steel-eye rabbit popping suddenly out of the foliage

Flickr: dan4th

Why it's so creepy: Like the velveteen rabbit before him, this topiary rabbit has seen better days. Unlike the velveteen rabbit, the topiary rabbit will never let you forget him.

19. The enormous cobra poised to strike

Flickr: leeco

Why it's so creepy: Counter-intuitively, the scales on this topiary are more creepy than the fact that it's a giant cobra posturing aggressively. Also, it is a giant cobra posturing aggressively.