1. The Mask pretty much starts with some classy foreshadowing.
2. You can tell what the moral of this movie is right from the beginning because Ben Stein explains it!
3. It practically requires you to use the word "jalopy."
Look how dilapidated that car is! Poor Stanley Ipkiss, you have the sensible but not too sensible haircut of 1990s Jim Carrey and you deserve better than this.
4. A male villain has an earring.
5. His henchmen have ponytails.
6. A shrewish landlady is shrill.
7. The hero has a dramatically cleft chin.
8. There are wacky suits.
9. A grown man wears pajamas.
10. The fourth wall gets broken.
11. Drivers who honk unnecessarily get their comeuppance.
Now this is what I call wish fulfillment.
12. There's evil golf.
13. The Mask features the original weird Cameron Diaz joke.
She licks that ear like she's looking for peanut butter in there.