1. You just had a three-hour conversation about your "boundaries." You broke up eight months ago.
2. You've spent a lot of time talking about not talking.
3. This is what you hear from all your straight friends:
4. You have alienated at least one person because this breakup is ALL. YOU. TALK ABOUT.
5. You catch yourself feeling nostalgic for the peripheral old people who used to give you dirty looks for holding hands.
6. You're beginning to think Tegan and Sara are the only people in the world who get it.
7. You are earnestly trying to psychoanalyze her new haircut.
8. You are worried about how your style will work without her.
9. Seriously, WHICH ONE OF YOU KEEPS THE GENDER-NEUTRAL GEOMETRIC SWEATER?
10. The first time you try to hang out as friends:
11. Your breakup buzzwords aren't "It's not you, it's me." They are "healthy," "consent," "support," "commitment," "responsibility," and "processing."
12. Oh god, you do so much processing.
13. Maybe you threw away a piece of trash she left in your apartment, maybe you didn't. It's complicated, okay?!
14. You start watching her favorite TV show because it makes you feel closer to her.
15. You're thinking about how to be better to yourself.
16. You will never. EVER. Get over this breakup.
Shoutout to my homegirl Mia for her help.