1. When someone makes you angry, but she’s not there to yell at:
Eat her muffin.
2. When someone won’t give you the names of the clones you’re trying to murder:
Eat toast at her. It’s called symbolic violence, and it works.
11. When someone implies your singing isn’t good.
And of course, follow it up with the best comeback of all.
Burn his house to the ground! Damn, Helena, you sure know how to win an argument.
- President Donald Trump has commented on yesterday's massive Women's Marches asking, "why didn't these people vote?"
- Kellyanne Conway says White House press sec. Sean Spicer didn't lie about crowd size at Trump's inauguration. He gave "alternative facts."
- Members of the national security community reacted with shock after Trump attacked his critics while giving a speech at CIA headquarters.
- "SNL" paused the laughs for a moment last night to pay tribute to former President Barack Obama.