July 4, 2014
4 Unexpected Things I Learned Smoking Crack Cocaine
As we all know, summer is the season for sequels, and who am I to disappoint? Of course, a completely faithful sequel to last year's triumph of projectile vomiting and passing out in bathrooms would require a renewed addiction to dextromethorphan,…
27 Horrible Crimes And Usurpations You Won't Believe The King Has Committed
The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
The Government Is Finally Forcing A Major For-Profit College To Shut Down
Corinthian Colleges will attempt to sell almost all of its 97 US campuses, according to an agreement reached with the Education Department late last night. Experts say the Education Department's move to shut down Corinthian is a warning, and a possible threat, to other for-profit colleges.
11 Reasons Why The Bald Eagle Is Too Much America For You To Handle
In honor of Independence Day today, we should look to the bald eagle as a reminder of the freedom our founding fathers courageously fought for. It's also serves as a reminder that the guy who was in charge of naming birds had a very different definition of the word, "bald".
The CW Cancels Show About Making People Famous After Not Making Anyone Famous · Newswire · The A.V. Club
“Bah, who the hell are these people?” every single person in America has shouted at their TV at least once while watching Paris Hilton or the Kardashians or the Cosbys. “They ain’t done nothin’ to become famous ‘cept for bein’ on the TV.” Well,…
Who Is Maria Sharapova
Awkwardly enough, this is what is alongside #Wimbledon2014 on twitter. Angry cricket fans started asking 'Who is Maria Sharapova' after the famous tennis player was asked if she knew Sachin Tendulkar in a post-match interview and she admitted that she din't know who her was. And, this is what happens when you say you don't know about the god of cricket, on national TV.
The 5 Most Narcissistic Products You Won't Believe Exist
So, now that the cat's out of the bag and busy admiring itself, wouldn't it be time to completely indulge in your full glory? Come, friend, lay off the puny apps and senseless self-shills -- there's a whole world of narcissist-aimed products out…
Read This: The Tasteless History Of The Peeing Calvin Decal · Great Job, Internet! · The A.V. Club
Those lucky enough to be residents of the Deep South have undoubtedly experienced the anger that stems from getting cut off by a jacked-up F-150, and the subsequent confusion that arrives after noticing a beloved childhood character rendered into a…
U.N. Security Council Refuses To Compromise With House Of Cards · Newswire · The A.V. Club
The United Nations Security Council took time out of its busy schedule of condemning things to decide whether or not to let the Netflix original series, House Of Cards, film in its chambers. According to The Huffington Post, 15 council members…
Katy Perry Sued For Ruining Christian Rap Song With Her Black Magic · Newswire · The A.V. Club
Never ones to turn the other cheek in a rap battle, unless that rap is about the virtue of turning the other cheek, a group of Christian hip-hop artists are suing fallen Christian singer Katy Perry, claiming that her song “Dark Horse” plagiarizes…
Ryan Gosling Apparently Didn’t Like Rachel McAdams, Revealing The Notebook Is A Work Of Fiction · Newswire · The A.V. Club
For over a decade, a great fraud has been perpetrated upon the American people, a long con which has convinced them that the dementia-themed Nicholas Sparks adaptation The Notebook was a document of true and everlasting love. “Not so!” say the…