October 18, 2013
Film Programming For The Bedroom
Winter is coming, which means that streaming and/or snuggling season is upon us, which means that you too can use movie nights to get laid. Here, a short list of films to watch and cinematically-appropriate sex pairings, offered in reverse… Holy Motors (2012): Gremlin noises, costume changes, lots of biting. Shame (2011): Masturbation, desperation, fenestration sex. Fish Tank (2009): It is not my fault that Netflix carries all of Michael Fassbender's guilt-sex oeuvre. The evening's accoutrements: Cockney accents, dancing in track suits, underage…
Health Groups Urge Katy Perry To Drop Pepsi Deal
In an open letter that will be published in Variety on Monday, several health advocacy groups write to Katy Perry urging her to stop making commercials for Pepsi. "Today soda companies are using you and other celebrities to convince young people that drinking soda is hip, sexy and rebellious."
Obama’s DHS Pick A Major Democratic Donor, Senators Question Credentials
President Obama's newly nominated pick to lead the sprawling Department of Homeland Security is a major Democratic donor who used to work with the president's 2008 campaign, leading one senator to call the choice "deeply concerning."
The 8 Celebrity Couples Who Will Get Engaged Next, According To My Psychic Powers
Which celebs will be the next to make it official? Here’s what the voices in my head are telling me. (And I’m sure those voices have NOTHING to do with intense sleep deprivation. Nothing.) KATY PERRY & JOHN MAYER Rumor...
‘Scandal’ Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: “Mrs. Smith Goes To Washington”
There comes a time when every woman tasked with writing about Scandal must break from the pack of breathless stans, and I’m sorry to say that for me, that time is now. For the first time in recent memory — perhaps the first time since Season 1,…
The Investment Advisor Who Sued Michael Lewis Has Been Charged By The SEC For Misleading Investors
Wing Chau helped set up investment products at the heart of the financial crisis. SEC says he compromised his "independent judgment as collateral manager" in order to help a hedge fund profit from the failure of CDOs he arranged.
Obamacare Website Failure Threatens Health Coverage For Millions Of Americans
A broken website imperils the largest expansion of the American safety net since the Great Society. More than two weeks into the disastrous rollout of HealthCare.gov, the website created by President Barack Obama's health care reform law still isn't…
Bertney And The Boobies - The Superficial
Bertney knew she had promised her papa to let people look at her boobies if she got to ride the double bus like a big girl, but it still didn’t make Bertney feel good inside. “Lettin’ people see my nippler buttons makes me feel icky in mah belly,” Caillou Bertney had said to papa with a sad face. “Sometimes I fink I’ll never be a good girl again.” “Cheer up, Bertney,” papa said. “This is how we get money for McDonald’s. You like McDonald’s, don’t you?” Bertney shook her head yes. McDonald’s is her favorite! Maybe showing her boobies won’t be so bad after all. “Now go on out there and let the people have a look at you with their picture boxes,” papa said while giving Bertney a big hug. “And smile for the lights!” Bertney couldn’t wait to make more money for McDonald’s. “Papas always make everything better,” she thought with a smile.
12 Awesome DIY Halloween Costumes From Our Own Wonderful Readers
Need some inspiration for your Halloween costume this year? Look no further than our own lovely and creative Smitten readers, who were kind enough to share their photos. Ladies, you've impressed the hell out of me and I wish you could all come to my…
Stevie From ‘Eastbound & Down’ Tried To Bang Lindsay Lohan In Real Life
I love Eastbound & Down. I think this season is fucking amazing, and one of the best examples of a show hitting its stride and fitting into a perfect groove. (Unlike you, Homeland.) That said, I hate Stevie. Can’t stand the character. I don’t know…
What's Your Excuse For Not Having My Body?
This is my body. I work very hard for it. I sleep every night, eat regularly, lift weights and my 43-pound child, walk a lot, jog when I can, and shower daily. This is my body. What's your excuse for not having my body? Can you access clean water daily? You should, because you need to drink water to keep my body hydrated, and water to clean yourself every day, if you want to have my body. I also make tea in that clean water, with herbs that an accupuncturist…
Mark Zuckerberg Will Join LinkedIn, Dropbox Founders At "Dreamer" Hackathon To Reignite Immigration Reform
The Facebook CEO will join LinkedIn co-founder Reid Hoffman, Dropbox CEO Drew Houston, and Groupon co-founder Anthony Mason at a tech event for undocumented immigrants in San Francisco in November.
Six Extreme Sports You've Never Heard Of
Sure, BMX and heli-skiing are cool and all, but is it as cool as shark-parasailing? Okay, shark-parasailing isn't a real extreme sport, but these six sports are, and they're awesome. Check out these six extreme sports that you may not have ever heard of, and get out and try one this weekend.
Kate Middleton Plays Volleyball, Looks Amazing Three Months After Prince George's Birth
Kate Middleton is having a ball! On Friday, Oct. 18, three months after giving birth to Prince George, her first child with husband Prince William, the Duchess of Cambridge attended a SportsAid Athlete Workshop at the Copper Box in London's Queen…
Does Your Chicago Neighborhood Suck? An Investigation
Chicago has been called a city of neighborhoods, which may be one of its less-catchy monikers, but it also happens to be true. And those neighborhoods have many fine qualities and eclectic charms... but they also have some lesser points. And some…
The 5 Ballsiest Lies The Mainstream Media Passed Off As Fact
Look, we here at Cracked aren't cockeyed optimists (or cockeyed anything, for that matter). We've lived in this world long enough to understand that some folks just aren't "on the level" and the things they say should be "taken with a grain of salt"…
9 Longform Stories We're Reading This Week: An American Bull Run And Jay-Z
The running of the bulls, in America? For this week's BuzzReads story, contributor Wyatt Williams traveled not to Pamplona, but to a dirt track outside Richmond, Va., to watch the first domestic bull run. Read that and these other great stories from around BuzzFeed and the web.
The First Black Cat Cafe In Japan
There are many cat cafes in large Japanese cities because of the limited living space. Cat Cafe Nekobiyaka Kuro Neko cm is a cat cafe with a difference. It has just been relaunched as a black cat only cafe after two years of having been an ordinary cat cafe. There are 10 resident black cats at the moment and the timing is perfect for a relaunch in the spirit of Hallowe'en!
10 Fotos Poderosas Do "Antes" E "Depois" De Animais Resgatados
[AVISO: Algumas das imagens de "Antes" impressionam.] Aqui estão os 10 finais felizes dos animais que encontraram o seu caminho para o New York Farm Sanctuary (Fazenda Santuário de Nova York), que oferece uma casa para animais resgatados de situações abusivas. Você pode visitar alguns desses bichinhos na Fazenda Santuário de Nova York ou em outros lugares da Califórnia. (Obrigada por ter me encaminhado essas fotos, Meredith!)
The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame’s 25-Year Rule Embodies Music’s Widening Generation Gap
Another year, another lot of middling Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominations. It seems kinda pointless to complain yet again about the lack of female nominees — precisely none of the women we suggested last year got the nod this time around, with…