6 Family Circus Cartoons Improved With Dick Jokes

A lot of people would save Abraham Lincoln if they had a time machine. Not me. I would let Lincoln die while I went back to the dawn of language and made sure "steep" and "sleep" sounded nothing like each other. That's how important it is to me that…

It’s Funny Because He’s Fat

I highlighted this story in the links yesterday, but none of you A-holes read the stories that I painstakingly compile for you, so here it is again: ScreenJunkies visited the set of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” where they learned that the no…

Vancouver Stanley Cup Riots: The Most Epic Riot Picture Ever Taken, Ever

I understand that rioting is a terrible thing. Vancouver embarrassed itself last night with a shameful display that was disgusting in every single way. Okay, almost every single way...

Novelty Songs We Enjoy As Music

Songs written primarily as jokes can be as well-constructed and catchy as any other tracks. This week’s staff and reader question examines some of our favorites.

Bike Lane Sign Blocking The Bike Lane

It just makes sense.

Hipster Party, 1905

Comic-Con: HBO Sets Panels For 'Game Of Thrones,' 'True Blood'

As if Fox sending Terra Nova wasn’t enough for your geek senses, HBO on Friday announced panel presentations for Game of Thrones and True Blood. Starz also unveiled its plans as well. See below for the who, what and when of it all. Additional detail…

Real Life L.A. Noire From Funny Or Die, Bob Turton, CharlesIngram, NickCorirossi, Alex Fernie, And BoTown Sound

Following the logic of L.A. Noire in real life isn't as easy as they make it seem in the game.

Bald Lady Gaga Sings "Hair"

This is (surprisingly) the first time she's gone bald. I've also included a performance she did of the same song in French. It's actually really nice.

eHarmony Guy Loves Cheeseburgers

He would eat them all, you guys!

Two If By Tea, The Rush Limbaugh Soft Drink

This not a joke. This is freshly squeezed Rush Limbaugh, 100% patriotic refreshment.

Louis C.K. Interview: The Stand-up On Season 2 Of Louie And The Tracy Morgan Controversy.

Comedian Louis C.K. On his comedy album Hilarious, Louis C.K. describes the time his older daughter was bitten by an Italian pony. "How do you more break a little girl's heart than a pony bite? That's like being raped by Santa Claus." It's a typical…

Vancouver Riot Kissers Named: More Details Of Kiss Between Scott Jones And Alex Thomas

She tells the paper that the couple was at the game and got caught between police and rioters as they were leaving. Thomas was knocked to the ground by an officer’s riot shield, and Jones leapt to the ground after her to comfort her with a kiss.

The 4 Most Potentially Badass Fathers Who Never Had Kids

Pointing out the people who shouldn't have had kids (Hitler's Dad, his Mom, and so forth), is easy and boring. So, in honor of Father's Day, I've rounded up a bunch of awesome and badass historical figures who absolutely should have filled this plan…

Selena Gomez Talks About Dating Justin Bieber & Performs On ‘Good Morning America’

Selena Gomez gave a special performance this morning on Good Morning America and let her fans know that she’s feeling so much better after her health scare last week. So much better, in fact, that she was even willing to answer a few fan questions a…

Drunk Driver Has Sex In The Backseat While Going 85

This whole scenario raises more than just legal questions. How did all of these things simultaneously occur? Just who is this man? I can't wait to see how this trial pans out.

Controversial Peanuts Comic Strip

Circa 1969.

Rangers Can't Buy Out Injured Drury

It appears as if the Rangers will be unable to buy out the final season of Chris Drury's contract because of a degenerative condition in the captain's left knee that apparently will render him medically unable to play next season, The Post has learn…

Anthony Weiner's Final Whine - NYPOST.com

But that would have been the dignified way to end the circus he started by sending a lewd picture of himself to a Seattle college student three weeks ago -- and Anthony Weiner doesn't know from dignity.

"Green Lantern" To Rake In Green This Weekend

It's not going to be the blackest night for "Green Lantern," but the brightest box office day Read more by Paul Dergarabedian on CBS News' What's Trending.

Is Joe Jonas Singing About Demi Lovato In New Song,

We all know Joe Jonas isn’t exactly going to win the “Best Boyfriend” award. From Taylor Swift to Ashley Greene, Joe has famously fallen out of love just as quickly as he falls in. The notorious play boy says he’s about to apologize to one of his sw…

Mermaid Parade 2011 Preview In Coney Island (PHOTOS)

The Mermaid Parade in New York City's Coney Island is like a cross between Mardi Gras and Christmas: The huge crowd wears wild and outrageous costumes, and the marchers in the parade are either naughty or nice.

Joshua Seater Urinates In Portland Reservoir, Costs City $33K To Drain

The latest viral buzz from aolweirdnews.com

Keith Olbermann Vs. Stephen Colbert

Keith Olbermann appeared on The Colbert Report for some good-natured sparring with Stephen, verbally jousting over Olbermann's reboot of Countdown on Current TV. And Stephen isn't wearing any pants. Because.

Planespotting

Ever wanted to be mere feet away from a rapidly descending Boeing 747? Then St. Maarten in the Dutch Caribbean is definitely the place for you! Planespotters--which is apparently a thing--go there to swim and windsurf, taking advantage of the huge waves that the aircraft create as they near the runway.

Women Valiantly Defend Their BMW From Vancouver Rioters

Kissing Vancouver Hockey Riot Couple Are Identified

The identities of a Vancouver couple photographed in a romantic embrace as police fought off rioting hooligans on Wednesday night have been identified as Alex Thomas and Australian stand-up comic Scott Jones.

An Outfit Idea For Mixing Neutrals: Summer, Done Fashionably

Lately since the weather warmed up I’ve been wearing a ton of neutrals and find them so easy to combine, because there really are no rules. Breaking out a monochromatic color scheme can be intimidating, but mixing different shades and textures of ne…

The Definitive Collection Of Video Game Cakes

You may have seen some of these before, but never like this. And never in such [delicious] quantity!

20 Lady Gaga Fans Who Are Really Pissed About Her New Music Video

Brawl Outside Of Casey Anthony Trial

A fight erupts among people waiting in line for tickets to get into the Casey Anthony trial. No cutsies! Jesus. Is this a murder trial or the Gathering of the Juggalos?

Brawl Breaks Out At Classy British Horse Race

Maria Sharapova, Serena Williams & Li Na Show Off Designer Looks Ahead Of Wimbledon (PHOTOS, POLL)

Vogue UK reports that each woman was outfitted by a British Fashion Council designer and their ensembles were eventually auctioned off for charity. David Koma, who dressed Russian stunner Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova, told the glossy, "I've been in love…

OCD Chef Cutting Board

Don’t worry, being a little OCD in the kitchen isn’t really a bad thing.  Cutting everything up exactly the same size means it all cooks more evenly.  Your neurosis actually makes you a better chef.  Sometimes it’s good to be a little crazy.

Pentagon Bomb Scare, Women Fight For Right To Drive And News From While You Were Sleeping

What happened last night and what people are buzzing about this morning Read more by Jenna Sakwa on CBS News' What's Trending.

Honk For Saudi Women And Help Give Them The Basic Right To Drive

Today, women all around the world are honking in support of giving Saudi Arabian women the basic right to drive Read more by Shira Lazar on CBS News' What's Trending.

Tom & Katie Buy Suri A $100,000 Tree House -- Yup, A House In A Tree!

She has the $150,000 shoe collection, a personal assistant and a team of nannies, so what else could Suri Cruise want (or need)? Oh, just a mini tree cha

Sean Murphy Shoots Finger Off To Get Rid Of Wart

The 38-year-old English security guard decided to take drastic measures. He got drunk to numb his finger, then grabbed his shotgun and blasted off "almost his entire finger" according to the Telegraph. The incident also left him facing 15 years in j…

Jen Aniston & Justin Theroux: Can She Trust Him?

To anyone at the MTV Movie Awards afterparty on June 5, it was clear that Jennifer Aniston’s smartwater bubbles big-time for new boyfriend — and co-star in the upcoming Wanderlust — Justin Theroux.

World's Largest Pig-In-A-Blanket?

At two feet long, this giant Hungarian sausage is wrapped in bacon, covered in cheddar cheese, and blanketed with crescent rolls. If that's not enough for you, it came along with a "side" of macaroni and cheese as well. I don't have to tell anyone to commence penis jokes; I know it's going to happen.

Meet Lucas Ayala, Pokemon Master

He's the very best, like no-one ever was. When Queens, NY third-grader Lucas Ayala was informed that his school was banning Pokémon cards, he penned a convincing letter. Now, the school's lifting the ban and may incorporate Pokémon cards into its math classes. He should totally be in the Elite Four.

Hardware Stores Make Horrible Earthquake Shelters

Note to self: Stay out of the yard tool isle.

Dave Chappelle's New Show: Comedian Working On Subscription Network Show, Report Says

Six years after walking away from what was perhaps the top comedy on TV, fleeing to Africa and leaving a mass of confusion -- and dearth of laughter -- in his wake, a new report says that Dave Chappelle is working on a new show for a subscription en…

Incest Questions And Spectator Brawls At The Casey Anthony Trial

Before dawn broke outside of the courthouse in Orlando, Florida, fireworks (fistfights actually) erupted as spectators tussled trying to snag one of the 50 spectator tickets for the Casey Anthony trial. Orlando court officials have been opening the…

Watch Lady Gaga’s “Edge Of Glory” Music Video Featuring Clarence Clemons

Lady Gaga's new music video for her hit song Edge of Glory features little more than herself, Clarence Clemons and a stoop. OK! GALLERY: LADY GAGA SHOWERS

Cigarette Tetris

Christina Aguilera And Adam Levine Feud Off-set On "The Voice"

Tensions are bubbling backstage on NBC's hit "The Voice" between Christina Aguilera and rival judge Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine.

Hugh Hefner Is Using Twitter To Passive-Agressively Get Back At Crystal Harris

The Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris breakup story can’t stop won’t stop. First, they reportedly had an argument that resulted in Crystal calling off the wedding. Then the world got a look at the “Crystal Hefner” July 2011 Playboy cover, which had alr…

Rush Limbaugh Launches His Own Brand Of Iced Tea

New venture: Rush Limbaugh revealed he is launching his own brand of iced tea on his radio show today - and it comes with a typically patriotic message

Building The World's Tallest Sand Castle

And then Godzilla came up and kicked it over. Standing 37' 10" Ed Jarrett used 2,500 man hours and 1.6 million pounds of sand to create this ode to childhood with the help of 1,500 volunteers.

Rebecca Black's 'Friday' Taken Off YouTube (Analysis)

Rebecca Black is getting her 16th minute of fame thanks to news that her "Friday" video has been pulled off of YouTube by her lawyers.

Father's Day Menu Ideas: Steak Recipes

Win over his heart this Father’s Day by making one of these hearty steak recipes at WomansDay.com.