November 9, 2011
Illinois Representative Joe Walsh, corrupt deadbeat dad and Tea Partier, began berating voters from his district when they dared question the motives of big banks. He's a people person (if those people are corporations).
It can even buy happiness. No matter what silly old proverbs say.
Or at least a wicked proximally. This goes on the list of Things In My Dream House.
Here are some possible choices it could be.
This is what we get for rubbing our opposable thumbs in their faces. And our YouTube accounts.
LIFE has put together a gallery of weirdly giant animals. Here are our favorites.
It comes in beef and chicken flavors. Plus it's made in America. This will be the engine of our economic recovery. Sorry, frat guys who want to start a gross new Bros Bowser Beering Bros trend...there's no alcohol. But this commercial is fantastic.
See? Our species isn't always awful. Following in the prosthetic footsteps of Motala, this is Mosha. An organization called Friends of the Asian Elephant provided Mosha with an artificial limb after she lost her leg to a landmine in Thailand.
There must be so many confused gamers right now. I wonder what the venn diagram of people who are actually psyched for this game and avid Tim & Eric fans looks like.
Frackin' creepers! An eerily accurate portrayal of how Minecraft users feel about these green ninjas.
I'm shocked that a website designed to help married men have affairs would produce an ad this offensive. Okay that was sarcasm. I'm not at all surprised. But that doesn't mean that this isn't horrible.
My mind is blown. Jay Greenberg, or Blue Jay, is a more talented composer at 12 than I will probably ever be at anything. He's a modern day Mozart.
"If you gay, rep yoself." Preach it, Fat Joe.
30,000 feet above ground is the new underground.
Don't let a mohawk keep you from attending your own graduation. This look's got kind of a punk Statue of Liberty vibe.
Marcel The Shell With Shoes On is back with a new song. He reassures us that this song isn't about HIS mother. Phew.
High school and college yearbook photos of all the White House hopefuls. Young Biden+Young Romney+Young Perry=Hunk Sandwich. Young Cain+Young Santorum+Young Huntsman=Nerd Burger.
These bars offer "warm beer," "crap food," "vomiting basins," and toilets where you can either pee or poop... but NOT both. You know, just the amenities.
"I'm leading in the Republican polls. Why? Because the tea party loves crazy more than it hates black"
What happens when you mix facial hair and recursion? Nightmares.
The mother is also disgustingly proud of the fact that she and her daughter can borrow each other's clothes. This is disturbing on so many levels.
Professors have a soft spot for Perry the Platypus. Look at those eyes. Who could say no?
Pillow Talk, the pillow that glows and has a heartbeat to simulate your long distance lover. Because you can replace human affection with a throbbing alien pod. It's like David Cronenberg designed a line for Bed, Bath & Beyond.
I can't think of a director more fit for this job. I don't think one exists. And I'll tell you this, I'm probably going to stop doing all that meth now. That's over.
I always think to myself, "how can anyone not love R. Kelly?" Then I remember everything that's happened with R. Kelly and think, "oh that's why." But this is awesome.
Now if only The Riddler could translate that failing into success, then he could move up in the Batman criminal hierarchy.
Well this is something I'll never be able to do. This guy is awesome and not because he resembles former BuzzFeed intern Todd Van Luling. Well not just because of that.