Here's Exactly How To Clean Your House After A Breakup


    Breakups suck — and whether you were dumped or the heartbreaker, they're rarely easy endings. But they are always a great catalyst for transformation. Time for a new chapter, my dude.

    Especially your ex's stuff.

    You know all those tips about getting rid of clutter one thing at a time? Yeah, forget that.

    We're gonna listen to the International Queen of Life Transformations, our Lady Marie Kondo.

    Cleaning room by room isn't efficient. Clean by category, not by location.

    You don't need a survey or diagram to help you get rid of your baggage.

    There is only one question you really need to ask.

    You're choosing what you want to keep, not what you want to get rid of.

    Cull the dead weight from your life so you're only surrounded by things that make you wanna get out of bed in the morning.

    Of course — obviously there are caveats for the things that are necessary but pretty fugly — like the winter clothes you need but hate.

    In Marie Kondo's Reddit AMA, she advises, ""Those things are helping you every day. Because you are using them. Even if they are not sparking joy, they are helping you every day. They are making your days go by — meaning, you have not realized that they are making you happy. They are sparking joy to you, subconsciously. So it's you, just not realizing that sparks joy for you. So you should convince yourself that they are sparking joy, and you should prioritize their status, because they are making your day, everyday. Then, gradually, you will start seeing some sparking joy concepts from those items."

    Here is the order of things for you to tackle. Remember, by category, not location.

    1. Clothes

    2. Books

    3. Papers

    4. Miscellany

    5. Mementos

    Keep the following in mind before you begin. It'll make the process of discarding a lot more illuminating.

    So, step one: the clothes. All of it, one place, one question: does this spark joy?

    You will be getting rid of so much stuff you won't even believe it.

    Once you've significantly pared down your stuff, you can use strategies to really store them properly — and cherish them the way they ought to be.

    When you put stuff back in your drawers, remember: file, don't pile. You want to be able to see everything — these are things you are intentionally cherishing and keeping in your life. Treat them accordingly.

    You can see her folding method in more detail here. I've been using it for the past few weeks, and everything is still neatly organized.

    This is what your drawers might look like with the method.

    Here's how she suggests you store them.

    Here's the video tutorial.

    Next phase: books. Put all your books -- ALL OF THEM -- in a pile on the floor and start asking that spark question.

    Here's a KonMari'd bookshelf. Look at all that space, you guys.

    Now you tackle the paper.

    Keep only what is necessary, and keep a lot of it digital.

    Phase four: the miscellaneous.

    Here's what your bathroom makeup storage could look like, if you finally disposed of all that expired makeup and the products you just don't use.

    The last phase of discarding: the sentimental stuff.

    As the wise prophets Fall Out Boy once sang, "Thx fr th mmrs."

    You definitely don't need to get rid of ALL the memories, though.

    Only after you have thrown out a significant amount of crap can you proceed with your life.

    It's scary to get rid of so much at once, but it's also, after a point, totally exhilarating. It's a click — this is just right, this is just what you need. And when you reach that point of essentials, you can move on to the restructuring. Now you can get to know all the stuff you love again in new ways.

    Cancel out any remaining bad vibes and smoke the sage.

    And now. Finally! Thankfully. You have a space of power to relax. Bad vibes be gone.