As always, before we begin, here's a personal anecdote about why we're revisiting this movie. And no, it's not just the pure joy I get from destroying Bollywood nostalgia. A few months ago, I came across this tweet that spoke about how Dhadkan is actually inspired by the classic Wuthering Heights!
I'm sorry the greatest adaptation had already been made I take my words back
Yep!
As embarrassed as I am to admit this, I have a Bachelor's degree in English, but never got around to finishing this iconic Emily Brontë novel. So I did what any respectable English major would do in a crisis like this. No, I did not finish the novel. I ~obviously~ read the summary on Shmoop! Okay so now watch me rip the movie apart with my newly acquired and fantastic knowledge of the summary of the source material!
So, the movie opens with Anjali (played by Shilpa Shetty) doing a Debby Ryan ear tuck, a whole decade before Debby Ryan did it, and two whole decades before TikTok made it famous. This is, SPOILER ALERT, also the first and the last fun thing about this movie.
Out of the two and a half hours that this movie clocked in, 59 minutes and 23 seconds of it are JUST songs, and no, that's not a made-up number. I actually did the math. Did my Shmoop reading from earlier not prove just how dedicated I am? Anyway, the rest of the movie is mostly just angsty dialogues and people running. This is not a joke.
Coming back to the opening scene, Anjali asks Dev how much he loves her and he breaks into a six-minute song instead of, you know, answering like a normal person. At one point, it sounds more like a mating call because, while Dev is singing his ballad, all Anjali does is sing "Aaaaaa" or "Haaaaa". If I was not already done with this movie, I'd actually start counting the number of times she does that. And it would be a LOT.
Song and whatever Suneil Shetty was trying to do in the name of dance later, Anjali meets Dev's mom who explains to her that Dev's broodiness and anger stems from him being born out of wedlock. We're all obviously shocked to learn that it is NOT actually because Anjali keeps singing "Haaaaa" whenever he implores her to express her love.
Anjali is back home and, like all 90s and 00s Bollywood dads, her father informs her that he has fixed her marriage.
Of course, Anjali is not happy and convinces her parents to meet Dev, who then threatens to steal Anjali from right under their noses. He also gives finance bros a run for their money with his formula of "love + paisa = net worth". This is an important detail to remember as the "plot" advances. As predicted, Anjali's dad cancels out their affair and rejects Dev (I tried a math joke, ok!).
Anjali tries to elope with Dev, but her dad takes her on a guilt trip instead, like a true desi father. Anjali gives in and says "see ya later boy" to her sk8er boi.
This news hits Dev's mom harder than it hits him and she instantly dies at the thought of explaining Dev's mommy/daddy issues to another potential partner.
Anjali meanwhile gets married to Ram and the plot twists so hard that they end up changing Ram's step-sister mid-movie. Someone actually ran from this movie! Well, good for them.
Anjali is welcomed by Ram's evil step-family and nothing screams villainy than wearing campy matching outfits and being surrounded by some shady lighting.
Anjali makes it very clear that she doesn't love Ram and will not let him touch her. This lasts about one song until she does her Debby Ryan ear tuck again.
Fast-forward to three years, Ram and Anjali are happily married. However, Dev comes back into their life, richer but very evidently dumber because he's wearing f****n sunglasses at night!
Also, doesn't this random socialite look like Fru Fru from Zootopia? This section absolutely has no purpose but neither does this movie, so what are we really complaining about?
Cue in ANOTHER song, but this time featuring Mahima Chaudhry, who, like most of her roles in the 2000s, is listed as the main cast despite being there for only one dance number. She plays the role of Sheetal Verma, Dev's best friend, who has come all the way from London just to help him get Anjali back. The catch? She is actually low-key in love with him.
Anjali and Dev finally meet again. But instead of sharing with the class how he got rich, like a true Instagram motivational speaker, Dev tells Anjali that he went from having 50 paise to 500 crores by doing the 100k steps challenge. This is not a joke. I told you, he is a math wizard.
Anjali rejects him. And out of his wrath and in the company of his genius math skills, Dev somehow buys all the shares from Ram's company and makes him penniless. He also buys their house, which makes Dev and Anjali homeless. In Bollywood, this means going from living in a gigantic bungalow to a decent house that is appropriate for two people.
Ram eventually discovers Dev and Anjali's history and is upset with her for not telling him. However, it turns out that Anjali is pregnant and as we know, pregnancy in Bollywood is either used as a tool for conflict or for conflict resolution. In this case, it is used for the best purpose which is FINALLY ending the movie.
Anjali calls up Dev to meet him in order for them to get closure but is really an opportunity for Dev to squeeze in one more song in which he declares his love, only to receive no reciprocation. The end.
Before I end this piece, an honorary mention to the costume department who made Shilpa Shetty wear the same costume in five different colours. One more colour and Thanos would've tried to put her on his gauntlet.
